“Soul Possession” quotes from Xena: Warrior Princess

Hey, how did you get over the horror of finding out you were that bumbling idiot, Joxer?

Hey, Joxer was no fool. The guy they got to play him was a goofball, that's all. He was the producer's brother, for crying out loud.

At least you got to hang out with Xena and Gabby in a past life. We can't lay claims to anything that cool.

Speaking of the Warrior Princess and the Bard, what happened when your boyfriend, Harry, found out he was Xena in a past life?

And then your past lives counselor was none other than his beloved sidekick, Gabrielle.

[looking sick] They got hitched.

Decent. Xena and Gabby finally a couple.

Wait till we tell the rest of the fans.

Nice driving, dear. Oh, that was the most fabulous vacation since our honeymoon, and I thought that nothing could top that. Wasn't it fascinating how being back in Greece brought back our lives as Xena and Gabrielle?

Yeah, except I shouldn't have had those last two goat cheese milkshakes.

Is my little Warrior Princess' tummy still bothering him?

Did you schedule any celebrity appearances?

No, we contacted Bruce Campbell, but he was too much money.

Ares

Stay right there [tries to zap Xena/Annie, who holds out the contract, which is incinerated] Un-freakin' believable!

Ares made it, Ares destroyed it. I guess this means you ain't got no soul.