You took Hulk Hogan's blood and you built Titan Towers. You stole Bret Hart's dream, and with that money, bought yourself an airplane with 'WWF' all over it. You did that, and you know it, you son of a bitch! You stole Shawn Michaels' smile, took your company public, and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are, oh no. See, you're a billionaire on other people's hard work. Your father - your father, Vince McMahon - your father went around the country and shook the hand of every... [sees Vince's glare] You know I'm telling the truth don't you? You know in your heart that I'm telling you the truth... that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that he'd never compete against them, that his son would never compete against them.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
And when your father DIED, you competed! And with your ruthless, merciless, take-no-prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn't you, Vince? You ran all the competition into the ground and you stole all their ideas and you made yourself a billionaire out of it! And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole mine! You see, I don't give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Mushnick and Jim Crockett; I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole my dreams, how you stole MY legacy, how you stole everything that ECW represented. Because while Doink the Clown had green hair and a rubber nose, Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing "Tutti Frutti", ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "Attitude." 'Oh, we've got Attitude!' You've got nothing, man! What you've got is my ideas and you stole my life, my money, my legacy! [throws cap at Vince] SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
I'll tell you something, your own children hate your guts! And on Sunday, your children are going to get even with you, for everything that you stole from me, from everything you stole from them! You flaunt your affairs in front of your wife! You flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You bastard! [points to Tazz] Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a killer, he was a machine! He was a wrestler, a great wrestler, a real man. But wrestling is a dirty word to you, isn't it, Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and you, you had to have [mockingly] sports entertainment. 'We have to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha!' He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was a man. And now, he's a fat, little, obnoxious color commentator, and not even a good one! He is a sports entertainer. He is not a wrestler because you made wrestling a dirty word. You made wrestling a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're going down. You're going down, Vince. I promise you, you're going down, and I'm going to watch it and your children are going to lift their leg, and stand over your grave and we're going to laugh. And you know what else I'm going to do, Vince? I'm going to run your ass out of business. And there's not a damn thing you can do about. I'm feeling good about myself... [gets choked out by the Tazzmission]
[The Rock has teased Vince McMahon about kissing Jim Ross' and Trish Stratus' butts, only to be treated at the sight of Rikishi]
[as Rock holds down Vince] I think Rikishi's gonna give it to him!
Give it to him! Give it to him!
No, don't! [As Rikishi raises his mawashi to ensure Vince gets the full stinkface] He's a billionaire! HE OWNS THIS COMPANY! [screams as Rock shoves Vince's face up Rikishi's ass]
Oh Lucifer's lips on the biggest ass in the WWF! Oh hell yeah! [stands up as Jerry Lawler blows a raspberry and Rock lets go of Vince] Thank God, Thank God! THERE IS... THERE IS A GOD IN THIS WORLD!!
The Rock says, On behalf of the millions, [crowd follows up "and Millions!"] the Vince McMahon Kiss-Your-Ass Club is officially closed, IF YOU SMELLL, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
How does it feel to be humiliated? How does it feel to be humiliated in front of the whole damn world?!! How do you like that?!?!
I think, I think Vince knows what Rikishi ate for dinner! [makes mock cough]
[Austin has just beaten up Booker T at the Green Frog and brought him to the counter]
[hearing police sirens; leaves] Price check on a jackass!!!
[sprawled at the foot of the checkout line; cries] I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you... [weeps]
[Back at the arena skybox, Ric Flair is laughing at Vince]
[to Vince McMahon] I think I told you you'd enjoy the show. [slaps Vince at the back before he leaves]
The WWF...is going to die. I know that. The WWF has cancer... because of Ric Flair. Flair's gonna kill it. And the kind of cancer Flair gave the WWF, is the slow, eating, kind of cancer. It's not quick. I'm not gonna let Ric Flair kill what I created. Me. The WWF is mine. It's mine. I created it! I'm not gonna let Ric Flair kill what I created. Because I'm going to kill what I CREATED! I'M GONNA KILL IT! I'M GONNA KILL MY CREATION! I'm going to inject the WWF with a lethal dose of poison. If anybody's gonna kill my creation, I'm gonna do it. [turns his chair revealing "nWo" on the back] Me...and the n...W...o...
[Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Triple H have eliminated each other in a battle royal to determine the number one contender for the WWE Undisputed Championship at King of the Ring]
Well well well uh, may I have your attention please? Hogan, Triple H, listen up. I mean uh, seems to me we have quite a dilemma here now don't we? I mean, Hogan and Triple H going over the top rope at the very same time with apparently no conclusive proof as to who actually won. So, I ask all of you then, who should face The Undertaker at the King of the Ring? Should it be, should it be Hulk Hogan? [crowd cheers] Should it be Triple H? [crowd cheers] Well I can tell you this. I'm not about to allow some hokey okies influencing my decision. [crowd boos] But I will allow one individual in influence me, as a matter of fact, his name is The Undertaker. You see, during the commercial break, I called The Undertaker at home. But quite frankly, he doesn't give a damn which individual he faces either. Because The Undertaker looks at both Hogan and Triple H, both of you gentlemen, as losers. And why shouldn't he? I mean, let's face it, Hogan, at Judgment Day, The Undertaker defeated you for the Undisputed title. And uh, Triple H, last week here on SmackDown!, The Undertaker beat the holy living hell out of you. So then, who should face The Undertaker for the Undisputed title at the King of the Ring? I'll tell you who it's gonna be. The winner of tonight's one on one encounter between Triple H and Hulk Hogan.
Tonight?
Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, here to sing "America the Beautiful" on our nation's birthday, WWE's own, Lilian Garcia!
[singing] Oh beautiful, for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountain majesties, above the fruited plain, America, America, God shed his grace on thee, and crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea. America, America, God shed his --
[over Garcia's singing] Stop the music! Stop the singing! Stop all of this right now! [comes down to the ring with Christian and Test as the crowd boos] I don't mean to ruin your little birthday celebration. We've had all we can take of this America the Beautiful crap! Lilian, get out of that ring. A matter of fact, get out of this building!
Get out of here! [Lilian leaves the ring as the crowd boos and chants "USA!"] Today, July the 4th. America celebrates Independence Day. Well let me ask you all a question. Do you even know why you're celebrating? Well considering the ignorance of the American youth, you probably think of Independence Day as the day Will Smith saved the world from a bunch of aliens!
But let me tell you what really happened. America was founded as British colonies. And in 1776, America declared itself an independent country, and turned its back on Britain! Now that's gratitude for ya. But America could only contain its aggression within its own boundaries for so long. Ultimately, America released its war-like hostilities on the rest of the world. There was World War I, World War II, the Korean War. Tell me America, what right did you have to be in Korea? [crowd chants "Asshole!"] What right did you have to be in Vietnam? Vietnam, it's a bit of a touchy subject, isn't it? Why? Because you were defeated. You Americans are such hypocrites! You don't like me out here telling you the truth. You don't wanna hear what the rest of the world has to say. It's funny how that contradicts your very own Constitution. The First Amendment speaks of freedom of expression. A freedom of speech. [crowd chants "You suck!"] But you Americans don't really wanna hear what other countries have to say about you.
Other countries say America is the most hypocritical nation in the world. The rest of the world hates America. We hate America. So for your birthday, America, dig this.
AMERICA SUCKS!
Stupid piece of crap. [throws hairpiece as the door knocks] Come in! [Chris Benoit enters] Chris, I can't believe how my staff screwed up, and now you have to defend the Intercontinental title at SummerSlam. Now I know, that you're gonna beat RVD. I know that you're gonna keep the Intercontinental Championship right here on SmackDown!.
Oh I'm gonna beat his ass.
I know you will. You're gonna make RVD tap, aren't you?
Oh I'm gonna make him squeal.
You're gonna make RVD tap just like you made The Rock tap two weeks ago! Isn't that right? 'Cause I'm gonna make it up to you, Chris. Tonight, the main event is going to be Chris Benoit versus The Rock!
Whoa ho ho!
And I want you to send a message to RVD through The Rock! I want you to make The Rock tap! I want you to, I want you to make him tap, I want you to make him, make him --
I'm gonna make him moan, I'm gonna make him whimper, I'M GONNA MAKE HIM SQUEAL!
Yeah. So we're on?
So much.
[Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle are about to compete in a number one contender's match to the WWE Undisputed Championship]
Allow me to introduce to you, the next competitor, a legendary superstar that I just signed to SmackDown!, ladies and gentlemen, the phenom, The Undertaker!
Undertaker, we understand this is extremely difficult for you.
Of all the things that I've been in my life, I've never been a liar. So I've requested this time so I can get a few things off my chest and set the record straight. When I was accused by this woman of being a cheater, well I lied. I do know her. But I mean, look, I knew a lot of women like her back then. But see, that was years ago. It was a long time ago, YEARS before I ever met my wife, Sara. So to say I was surprised last week when I got to SmackDown! and here's this woman accusing me of being a cheater, surprised would be an understatement. And man I had to make a judgment call, because all I could see was my pregnant wife sitting at home watching this woman accuse me of being a cheater. Truth is, I haven't seen this woman in about seven years. I don't know what she wants. I don't know if she's been paid off by Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. I don't know, all I know is the last week of my life has been a living hell due to Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. But let me guarantee you two something. The hell that I've been through is nothing, IS NOTHING compared to the hell that I'm gonna put you two through this Sunday in the Cell.
Paul. Paul Heyman.
What?
I was just hoping to get a word on the physical condition of Brock Lesnar.
Why don't you ask me about the physical condition of The Undertaker? I mean, The Undertaker was thrown off the stage by The Big Show three weeks ago, have you heard one from The Undertaker, no! Brock Lesnar got thrown off the stage last week by The Big Show. You wanna know the physical condition of the WWE Champion? Brock Lesnar has a broken rib and he's been coughing up blood all week. The difference between Brock Lesnar and everybody else is, Marc, is that Brock Lesnar will defend the WWE title and he will do it this Sunday at Survivor Series against The Big Show. What Brock Lesnar won't do though, is show up tonight here on SmackDown!. And that's by doctors' orders and by my orders. [turns around and sees Big Show behind him]
If by some chance, Brock Lesnar shows up here tonight, I want you to know, that I'm calling Brock Lesnar out.
And here in the parking garage of the Hartford Civic Center, there is a one-man welcoming committee for the WWE Champion, The Big Show and Paul Heyman.
Lesnar ripped of his title by his agent at Survivor Series.
Tonight, I'm involved in a fatal-four-way elimination match with Kurt Angle, Edge, and Eddie Guerrero. And the winner of this match becomes the number one contender for the WWE title. And that's all I ever wanted, that's all I've ever dreamed of. All the sacrifices that I've ever made. I broke my neck. The numbness I still have. The divorce I went through. The two kids in Edmonton, David and Megan, that I rarely see. My wife that I love, and leave every week, kiss her goodbye, and my baby boy Daniel, that I kiss goodbye every week to go on the road, to do what I do, to do what I love. To be what I wanna be, the WWE Champion. And there's three men standing in my way. Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, and Edge. I've been wrestling for 17 years now, and I'm gonna do everything I know and use everything I have to go through them tonight, to become what I wanna be, what I've always dreamed of being since I've been 3 years old. A champion. The champion. The WWE Champion.
Well, here I am, Kurt Angle! [crowd cheers] You know, I've been the Tag Team Champion, Intercontinental Champion, King of the Ring, NCAA Champion, World Champion, Olympic gold medalist, and once again your WWE Champion! Woo! But I'm not out here to celebrate. Actually I'm out here to get something off my chest. You see, it may sound a little strange coming from me, but it's true. It's true. You see, all my life, I've earned every title I've set out to win on my own. And this one's different. You see, I'm not so sure I could've beaten The Big Show on my own. I may have, I may not have. But there was one man who lived up to his word, and kept his promise. Then did the right thing when it counted, and I'd like to personally thank him right now. [Brock Lesnar's music hits]
Well it looks like Kurt Angle is gonna be able to personally thank Brock Lesnar in person. [Brock Lesnar comes out] At Armageddon on Sunday, Brock Lesnar promised to make an impact. And boy, Lesnar made an impact.
Brock Lesnar, as everybody knows, is always impactful. Well this past Sunday at Armageddon, you're right partner. Big time impact.
Well Kurt Angle went to Stephanie McMahon, and had the suspension of Brock Lesnar lifted, and Brock Lesnar upheld his end of the bargain.
Speaking the devil. You see Brock, I always said I could beat any person on this planet. Any man on this planet. But I'm not so sure I could've beat The Big Show on my own, especially with Paul Heyman in his corner, if it wasn't for you. Now I know you don't want a thank you, I know you don't want a pat on the back, I know Brock. You want something different. You want what every person in this arena wants. You want what every person in this world wants to see. The most anticipated match in WWE history. Kurt Angle versus Brock Lesnar.
Oh yeah!
Yeah no doubt, no doubt! That'll be off the hook!
One on one for the WWE Championship, am I right? Well Brock, I'm a man of my word, and I said if I won this title, you'd be the first one to get the title shot. So here it goes Brock. NCAA Champion versus Olympic gold medalist. The match that everyone wants to see, the most anticipated match in the world. Brock, you earned it. Anytime, anywhere, any place. You name it.
I'm glad you feel that way Kurt. Because I want that match, here tonight in Tampa! [crowd cheers]
That sounds incredible, Brock. That sounds good to me. But it's not gonna happen.
What? [crowd boos]
You see Brock, I'm a little banged up as it is, but more importantly, I already have a match scheduled with Chris Benoit, non-title match. 'Cause I promised you the first title match. And Brock it's already been signed, my hands are tied. My hands are tied. But listen to me, listen to me. No one in this company, no one on this planet can understand the sacrifice and dedication to be the best in the world more than me. So if it's a title shot you want Brock, it's a title shot you want. The match everyone wants to see, Kurt Angle versus Brock Lesnar, next week on SmackDown!, what do you say?
Imagine Tampa won't like it, well they'll be happy in Tulsa.
Brock, Brock I said you'll get your first, Brock you get the first title shot. It'll be next week on SmackDown!. What do you say Brock? You earned it. [extends his hand, and after several seconds, Lesnar shakes Angle's hand]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WWE SmackDown! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.