WKRP in Cincinnati quotes

143 total quotes

All Seasons  Season 1  
Season 2
  Season 3   Season 4  

Johnny: Bigotry started a long time ago. Nobody knows where. I think the French started it.

Johnny: Do you believe in a supreme being?
Bailey: Wow! Uh, I think so.
Johnny: What's he like?
Bailey: Well, first of all she's black--that was a joke. An old joke, but a good one.

Johnny: Greetings, fellow teammates! Say, where is center field?

Johnny: How can you do that? How can you put a dollar value on your sister's company? And, more importantly, how much?
Andy: Thirty bucks.
Johnny: What's wrong with your sister?

Johnny: You just talk into the mike and your voice goes out through the wires, and once a week, whether you need it or not, somebody comes in here and gives you a check for $38.
Bailey: Don't you ever get scared, you know, like, get stage fright?
Johnny: Well, I'll tell you a secret, Bailey. If you ever find yourself on the air, and you feel a little nervous, just imagine that you're speaking to one specific person. Which in fact is probably the case here.

Les: Bailey, you'll lead us in a team prayer.
Bailey: Why me?
Les: Because you're the most wholesome.

Les: If there's one thing this reporter knows about, it's two things: One, hogs, and two, Russians.

Les: It says here my audience share of men 65 and over went down six points.
Herb: Let's face it Les--your audience is dying off.

Les: Now about the format. Whenever possible I always try to lead with the hog futures, particularly in the morning.
Bailey: Why?
Les: Because, Bailey, that's what people are interested in.
Bailey: Yeah, but what if a really big story is breaking?
Les: Well, that's when you have to use your news judgment. There will always be exceptions. For instance, when President Richard Milhous Nixon resigned, I led the news with that story. Looking back, I think I made the right decision.

Les: The secret is to appear to answer all the questions, when in truth it's all mumbo-jumbo. Here, let me show you. Herb, ask me this question.
[Les hands Herb a card with a question written on it]
Herb: Surely. "Mr. Candidate, what is your energy program?"
Les: Right now, I'm devoting a great deal of time and study to that problem. And I intend to issue a position paper on that. A position that is at once simple, yet complex, flexible, and above all else, fair to every American.

Les: Why are we all here on this planet?
Jennifer: As opposed to where, Les?
Season 3

Les: [Mrs. Nedelman] doesn't like for me to have lady guests.
Darlene: It must be terrible to have such an awful landlady living right next door!
Les: Oh, she's not my landlady, she's my tenant. I own this duplex.
Darlene: Rather than put an old lady, or even a dog, out in the street, you just take it. What a man you are, Les Nessman.

Mr. Carlson: How many times have you said to yourself, "if I knew then what I know now"? Well, by golly, this is the new then. Now, I mean. Because I know now what I didn't used to know then. As a manner of speaking, you could say that I know now what I know now.

Mr. Carlson: Listen, Venus, how do things look in the black community?
Venus: Oh, same old thing. Big lush lawns, manicured hedges. Living's easy. Fish are jumpin', cotton oh 'bout so high... Daddy's rich. I suppose you don't wanna hear about my momma, huh?

Mr. Hopkins: [on Herb] I will not be taught how to live by a man in a white belt!