WKRP in Cincinnati quotes

143 total quotes

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Andy: [to Johnny] We've got a playlist. You should play the list. We've gotta play some Top 40 hits, don't we? Why, sure we do. Yet you have yet to play a single hit off the playlist all week. Play the playlist. Play a part of the playlist! Play one song off the playlist! Play a part of one of the songs off the playlist! Well, it's so nice to see we've established a dialogue here. There you go, you want to talk about this, I'll be in my office playing with a loaded revolver.

Andy: Damn, I like this cloak and dagger stuff! Carrying a Russian across Ohio in the dead of night, and you're telling me my life ain't workin' out?

Andy: Let me ask you a question - am I the guard, or one of the nuts?
Venus: I think you're a guard on the way to becoming a nut.

Andy: There are thousands of stations in this country with women on the air.
Les: As disk jockeys, yes. But this is news, Travis, news - important stuff.
Andy: What about Barbara Walters?
Les: I 'west' my case.

Bailey: Just pretend you're talking to one person. A friend. Me.
Johnny: Okay.
Bailey: That's how you told me to do it. Now you do it.
Johnny: Okay, I'll give it a try.
Bailey: Just talk to me.
Johnny: This is, uh, your Doctor speaking. Hello, and good afternoon, Cincinnati. I sure would like to take you home and kiss you all over in the dark.

Herb Sr.: You know, my son speaks about you all the time.
Bailey: He does?
Herb Sr.: No, he doesn't, but he should. My son is a little bit of a jerk.

Herb: You know what we call problems in sales? We call them opportunities.
Mr. Hopkins: Les, your friend is a twit.

Jennifer: Why Herb, this is a really fine French wine!
Herb: Is it? Well, I told the guy to give me the best he's got in the store without going over fourteen bucks.

Jennifer: You're Les' fiancée?
Darlene: Mm hmm.
Jennifer: Uh huh. Does Les know about this?

Johnny: [about being alone on Christmas] Do you know how hard it is to find a 2 lb. turkey?

Johnny: [after Andy's pressure to play a Top 40 song] Okay babies, we've got time for just one Top 40 Hit, so let's check out the Captain and Tenille. Uh oh! No more time. Maybe tomorrow!

Johnny: [after playing Christmas music] I don't get it either, babies, but somebody out there likes it. So we'll just keep shoveling through the seasonal syrup. Not too much left of this season of good cheer and bad music.

Johnny: [on sex frequency per week statistic] 2.96? I wonder how they do the, uh, .96 part.
Bailey: That is just an average, Johnny.
Johnny: Well, it should average out to three. Somebody's not doing something right!

Johnny: [to Buffy] So you put poison in the brandy. That's very Medieval of you.

Johnny: Any signs of senility?
Herb Sr.: It's all around, Venus.
Venus: I'm Venus.
Herb Sr.: Then who's he?
Venus: That's Johnny.
Herb Sr.: The black guy?
Venus: No, I'm the black guy.
Herb Sr.: Oh, excuse me.