WKRP in Cincinnati quotes

143 total quotes

All Seasons  
Season 1
  Season 2   Season 3   Season 4  

Andy: I have only been in this town for two weeks. I'm living in an apartment that doesn't have any furniture. I've been fighting with your mother. I've been fighting with-with-with Les, I've been fighting with Herb. I don't even know where my laundry is, sir.
Mr. Carlson: Oh, settle down.
Andy: Frankly, sir, I'm...I'm just as tired of all this as you are.
Mr. Carlson: Yeah. Heh. Well, I guess so. Listen, for whatever it's worth, I don't know where my laundry is either.

Andy: Mr. Carlson, we have got big trouble.
Mr. Carlson: Uh oh, mother's on her way!
Andy: It is not your Momma. It is worse than Momma.
Mr. Carlson: Worse? What could be worse than Momma?

Andy: You interested in radio?
Little Arthur: Oh, kinda.
Johnny: It's probably because he knows that the first thing you do when you overthrow a government is seize control of the radio station.

Bailey: I...I just wanted to say.. um thanks Johnny! When I first came to WKRP, I didn't know a think about radio stations, and I guess I was just a little shy back then. [sighs] But... you took the time to show me the ropes, and you gave me the kind of confidence I needed. You're a real friend, Johnny, and I wish you wouldn't go. When I think of WKRP, I...I think of you, and I guess I always will.
Mr. Carlson: Is it working?...Is he going to stay?

Bailey: Jennifer, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna cry.
Jennifer: Bailey, women who want to be broadcast producers do not cry in public.
Bailey: Then I'll cry in my car on the way home.
Jennifer: That's the way men do it.

Bailey: What's he like on a date?
Jennifer: Very gallant. Later he took me to this intimate little place. I had a martini, and Les had a hot chocolate. Then he took me home.
Bailey: Oh. Did he come up to your apartment?
Jennifer: Oh, I invited him. But on the way up the stairs his knees sort of gave out. But he took a rain check.

Del: I've been checking around. I don't see how you guys can do these commercials so cheap.
Johnny: Oh, you'll understand when you see the response you get.

Dr. Monroe: My, uh, studies establish without a shadow of a doubt, that children are, by adult standards, insane. And more than a little immature!
Johnny: And that's bad?
Dr. Monroe: Well, sure.
Johnny: Well, so what should we do about it?
Dr. Monroe: Round the little guttersnipes up.
Johnny: So, tell me, Doctor. Wh-where did you receive your degree?
Dr. Monroe: In Long Beach, California, Doctor.
Johnny: Long Beach State College.
Dr. Monroe: Oh, ho-ho. No, no, no, no. From a man at the Casa de Soma Apartments.

Herb: [reading] "What to do in case of an enemy attack in Cincinnati." Who's going to attack us, Dayton?
Les: Maybe.
Herb: Well, if they come down here, we'll kick their butts.

Herb: Boy, where have you been?
Jennifer: Out with other men, Herb... letting them have their way with me.

Herb: Commission City! Open your pearly gates to Herb Tarlek and say...
Jennifer: [Suddenly opening the door] There's a dead man in the lobby!

Herb: Dip?
Venus: None for me, thanks.
Les: Do you have any chips?
Herb: What do you want, the world?

Herb: I had a horrible dream last night.
Everyone else: Awww!
Herb: Yeah. I dreamt that John and Jennifer really were married. There were all these little kids running around, and they all had on sweatshirts and dark glasses and three-day beards. And they all started chasing me. All the little Johnnys caught me and tied me up, and I started screaming for help, and then all the little Jennifers just ignored me! And then they grabbed my white belt and just started beating me!

Herb: Morning, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Morning, Herb.
Herb: Any calls?
Jennifer: No.
Herb: Messages?
Jennifer: Nope.
Herb: Mail?
Jennifer: None.
Herb: Okay, how about lunch?
Jennifer: No lunch either.
Herb: Dinner?
Jennifer: Busy.
Herb: Okay, how about later, my place?
Jennifer: You're married, Herb.
Herb: Oh, yeah.

Herb: Now listen, these are the copy points you have to work into the jingle, ok? A: 'All weather floral arrangements'...
Venus: What does that mean?
Johnny: Uh, that's plastic flowers.
Herb: ...B: 'Maintenance free artificial turf'....
Johnny: Plastic grass....
Herb: ...C: 'They accept all major credit cards'.
Johnny: That would be your plastic money.