Mr. Carlson, I have to go to lunch now.
O-Okay, fine.
Uh, Jennifer. Who answers the phone when you're at lunch?
Usually I just leave it off the hook.
You think that's wise?
I don't know. It was Mr. Carlson's idea.
S1 E9Mama's Review
Every time my mother comes for one of these little quarterly reviews, she always leaves with a piece of me in her purse.
S1 E10A Date With Jennifer
What's he like on a date?
Very gallant. Later he took me to this intimate little place. I had a martini, and Les had a hot chocolate. Then he took me home.
Oh. Did he come up to your apartment?
Oh, I invited him. But on the way up the stairs his knees sort of gave out. But he took a rain check.
I'm telling you, free coffee is a constitutional right! Just look it up - Juan Valdez versus the state of California!
Les. Never in my life has someone broken a date with me.
I heard that.
S1 E11The Contest Nobody Could Win
You never went to college.
Hey man, I went through Princeton!
I'll bet.
I did. It was in a car. A squad car, actually. Very, very educational.
Mr. Carlson.
What?
You're being childish about this.
I am not. Boy, is this gonna make my momma mad.
S1 E12Tornado
[Horrified] Look man, I've been in jail in Mexico. My father called me what's-his-face for seventeen horrifying years. My second wife tried to kill me with a Ronco Vegematic! My mother and I were in a tornado once. We were in a mobile home, and I think God must really hate mobile homes, Andy, cuz tornadoes always attack them first. They get very mobile.
[reading] "What to do in case of an enemy attack in Cincinnati." Who's going to attack us, Dayton?
Maybe.
Well, if they come down here, we'll kick their butts.
S1 E13Goodbye, Johnny (1)
Mr. Carlson, we have got big trouble.
Uh oh, mother's on her way!
It is not your Momma. It is worse than Momma.
Worse? What could be worse than Momma?
I...I just wanted to say.. um thanks Johnny! When I first came to WKRP, I didn't know a think about radio stations, and I guess I was just a little shy back then. [sighs] But... you took the time to show me the ropes, and you gave me the kind of confidence I needed. You're a real friend, Johnny, and I wish you wouldn't go. When I think of WKRP, I...I think of you, and I guess I always will.
Is it working?...Is he going to stay?
S1 E14Johnny Comes Back (2)
[panicked] I got a monkey on my foot!
All right, Cincinnati shape up cause it's time for your morning check up. The Doctor is on duty. I have just returned from personally supervising an extensive research project involving West Coast vegetable worship cults and the cure's here babies. That's right. Doctor Johnny Fever is back and I'm on call every morning on WKRP in Cincinnati!
S1 E15Never Leave Me, Lucille
Dip?
None for me, thanks.
Do you have any chips?
What do you want, the world?
S1 E16I Want to Keep My Baby
Time to get the funk out your face, Cincinnati!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WKRP in Cincinnati pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.