The time is 6:07 in the morning, and it's time for this message.
CCommercial
Wouldn't a delicious, ice-cold beer taste particularly good right now? Sure it would!
Sure it would.
S1 E16I Want to Keep My Baby
S1 E17A Commercial Break
Now listen, these are the copy points you have to work into the jingle, ok? A: 'All weather floral arrangements'...
What does that mean?
Uh, that's plastic flowers.
...B: 'Maintenance free artificial turf'....
Plastic grass....
...C: 'They accept all major credit cards'.
That would be your plastic money.
Commission City! Open your pearly gates to Herb Tarlek and say...
[Suddenly opening the door] There's a dead man in the lobby!
JBJennifer, Bailey, Venus, Les
[Singing] Hey! You're young and swingin'
No time to think about tomorrow
But there any no way to deny it
Some day, you're gonna buy it
Plan today for a Ferryman tomorrow!
Ferryman, Ferryman
He's the man with the plot,
The man with the plan,
Ferryman, Ferryman
He's the mortician man, who loves you
A lot!
S1 E18Who is Gordon Sims?
Bailey, you're his friend. What do you really know about Venus?
You promise not to tell?
I swear.
Well, uh... you're gonna think this is a little crazy at first, but uh... I think he's black.
This is WKRP in Cincinnati, with more music and Les Nessman.
S1 E19I Do, I Do... For Now
I had a horrible dream last night.
EEEveryone else
Awww!
Yeah. I dreamt that John and Jennifer really were married. There were all these little kids running around, and they all had on sweatshirts and dark glasses and three-day beards. And they all started chasing me. All the little Johnnys caught me and tied me up, and I started screaming for help, and then all the little Jennifers just ignored me! And then they grabbed my white belt and just started beating me!
S1 E20Young Master Carlson
You interested in radio?
LALittle Arthur
Oh, kinda.
It's probably because he knows that the first thing you do when you overthrow a government is seize control of the radio station.
I see you've met Little Arthur.
Yeah, he's somewhat of a ... a...
A Nazi.
[Les pays Little Arthur to learn what Mrs. Carlson says about him]
LALittle Arthur
She says that you're obtuse.
Ooh!
[reading dictionary] Adultery... Admire...
Let me see that.
[snatches dictionary away from Herb]
Obtuse...
[snatching dictionary back from Les] Addle-minded!
[snatching back the dictionary] Obtuse!
[Herb attempts to snatch the dictionary back from Les, but Les slams Herb's hand in the book] Addle-ow!
[entering] Hi, guys.
Oh. Hi, Bailey. Met Carlson's son?
Yes. I've had the pleasure.
Well, he's quite a kid. Let me tell you. [under breath to Little Arthur] Tell your dad I said that.
[excited] Obtuse! According to Websters, exceeding ninety degrees but less than one-hundred eighty degrees; lacking sharpness or quickness of sensibility; rounded at the free end; dull. [looks and feels offended] That's an insult!
Les, take it easy.
Take it easy?
Yeah. Just calm down, okay?
Don't tell me to calm down. I just paid five dollars to find out I'm "rounded at the free end"!
Cool off, Les.
He's just mad because he's not addle-minded.
I am too.
No. You're not.
[Herb and Less start hitting each other] Yes. I am.
No. You're not.
Yes. I am!
You're not!
You guys! You are both addle-minded!
Thank you, Bailey.
You're welcome, Les.
S1 E21Fish Story
All right fellow babies, that was the Doors, and this is sort of Johnny Fever, kind of Doctor. And after [slurs] nine drinks, Venus Flytrap is catatonic, and I myself have personally just seen a giant pig. He is currently painting the walls of our lobby.
OOfficer
He is obviously drunk, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes, he is, and I'm not feeling badly myself.
OOfficer
You have obviously built up a super-human tolerance to alcohol.
Yes, it's true. It was once sort of a hobby.
S1 E22Preacher
Andy, Little Ed weighs about 300 pounds.
He does?
That's right.
Why do they call him Little Ed?
Because his wife is Big Ed.
The Doctor is not feelin' too good today. The Doctor was a bad boy last night. The Doctor overmedicated!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's WKRP in Cincinnati pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.