CFConfetti the Fox (Scallion #1)
For a thousand gold coins, here is question number three: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
PPistachio (Junior)
Huh? I don't know that! Nobody knows that!
CConfetti
Then you shouldn't have risked everything.
[Charlie Pincher pulls a lever that sends Pistachio down the rollercoaster, and onto the catapult.]
But... But you said you wouldn't steer me wrong!
CConfetti
No. We said "Why would we steer you wrong?", and the answer is... Five. Gold. Coins.
[Charlie pushes the lever that makes the catapult fling Pistachio into the ocean.]
CPConfetti, Purina the Cat (Scallion #2), and Charlie
[laugh]
CConfetti
No hands, numbskull.
CCarrot
Oh, hey there, cricket!
KKhalil
I am not a cricket! I am a caterpillar!
KKhalil
I am not a- Pistachio! You are alive!
KKhalil
Me too! That's why I left home by myself in this big, mean caterpillar-eating world!
I don't eat caterpillars.
KKhalil
Good. I hear we are quite tasty.
Who's with the ducklings?
KKhalil
Oh. A good friend is helping me out.
[Madame Blueberry is looking after the ducklings.]
No, I'm a blueberry. But I get that all the time.
No, I never played Monopoly, but I'll give it a go.
GGelato (Larry)
Oh, we've got plenty of food!
DDorito
Hey, guys? We're out of food.
[pause]
EEspresso
WE'RE GONNA DIE!
[Everyone screams and panics.]
KKhalil
WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
[first lines; Bob is on the countertops]
Hi, kids! I'm Bob the Tomato, and welcome to-- [horn honks, the Jeep passes by him on the right] Uh, I'm Bob the Tomato, and welcome to-- [The Jeep passes by him again on the left] Larry, what are you doing? Come over here!
[offscreen] I'll be right there!
[Larry screeches his Jeep into the countertops.]
It's my new Suzy Action Jeep. I've been wanting it just forever, and now it's finally mine!
Wow! You must be pretty happy to get a cool toy like that.
[hops out of his Jeep] Well, there's just one more thing I need to be really happy.
The Suzy Action Camper. You just hook it up to the trailer hitch on my action Jeep and I'll be ready for a weekend of wilderness fun.
Oh, so once you get the camper, then you'll be happy?
I don't know. There's also the dirt bike.
And the action hang glider.
Larry. How much stuff do you need to be happy?
I don't know. How much stuff is there?
Heh-heh. Maybe this would be a good topic for today's show.
[offscreen] Hold that thought, tomato!
Huh? [The French Peas enters the countertops] Hey! It's the French Peas. Hi, Jean-Claude. Hello, Phillipe.
PPhillipe
Hello, monsieur Bob. I think we can help.
Oui! Tell me, Tomato, where do French Peas come from?
That's right, and in France, we have a story that I think will answer your question. It's called "Madame Blueberry."
"Madame Blueberry?" I think I've seen that one. Doesn't it have Jerry Lewis in it?
No, be quiet and watch the film.
And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings-
Just a moment! Wait! Stop talking! [Archibald runs out on stage as a bear-trapped Larry stands and watches] Excuse me, I have an announcement. Ahem... Because of the high standard we on this show strive to adhere to, and as a result of the disastrous outcome of the previous Silly Song, management has decided to review compositions from other performers for this segment. Several artists were screened and we chose one based on the applicant's sense of artistry and all-around proprietary. Thank you.
I'm saying that Silly Songs is cancelled until further notice.
[blinks in disbelief] Oh yeah?! Well, how'm I supposed to get out of this bear trap?
I'm sure you'll figure something out.
[Construction peas move a new title card into view]
And now it's time for Love Songs with Mr. Lunt, the part of the show where Mr. Lunt comes out and sings a love song.
[seeing her house about to tip] My house!
It's so stuffed full of stuff, it's getting too heavy for the tree!
We've gotta stop those deliveries before it's too late! Come on, Larry! Grab a cart!
[Bob and Madame Blueberry drive two respective shopping carts, while Larry is left sitting in a shopping basket.]
[After "Madame Blueberry" ended; Bob and Larry are crying on the countertops]
[offscreen] Pull yourselves together!
PPhillipe
[offscreen] Yes, you have a show to wrap up!
Oh, you're right... I'm sorry, where were we?
[sniffling] Madame Blueberry..!
All right! That does it! [he and Phillipe] Cue the music!
PPhillipe
Unless, of course, you have any objections...
No... I don't care... go ahead...
