Ultimate Spider-Man Season 1 quotes

I know you're out there, you wall-crawling menace! It is the duty of every New Yorker to report the actions of these masked miscreants; so listen up: As long as I, J. Jonah Jameson, the CEO of the Daily Bugle communications, won't rest until New York has seen the last of Spider-Man!

(First lines) And a good morning to you too, J. Jonah Loudmouth.

Impressed, Mr Osborn?

Very, Octavius. More than ever, I'm convinced Spider-Man is the key to military superiority. Once I replicate his abilities, I'll mark it an army of spider enhanced Super-Soldiers to the highest bidder. Nick Fury is a fool to think that he can get Spider-Man to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. I prefer Spider-Man the way he is: Head-strong, undisciplined, easy to anger.

And easier to turn. I'll inform our remaining allies to begin Phase 2.

How ultimate is "ultimate"?

Flash Thompson

Spider-Man, Flash Thompson. I'm your biggest fan. Let me help, bro.

Definitely, "bro." (Opens locker door) Step in.

Flash Thompson

(Steps inside) Now what?

Wait for my signal. Jump out and we'll surround him. Remember: Wait for my signal. (Shuts door trying not to laugh, Spider-Man cheekily turns to audience) Immature, I know, but it felt SO GOOD!

You miserable little....

Ah, ah, language, Thundey! The kid's are watching.

(Points to Nova) I've already meet Captain Buckethead.

Nova

(Nova has a bucket over his head) Able to carry two buckets of water in a single... (Breaks the bucket) The name's Nova, creep.

"Nova Creep." Catchy.

Peter Parker

You think it's true that Spider-Man hangs out here at Midtown?

Mary Jane Watson

He's been seen on campus often enough. He could be anybody - a student, a teacher, or...

Thwip, thwip!

Mary Jane Watson

Well, maybe not anybody.

I mean, it's cool and all. But why do I need a motorcycle? I can get anywhere by "thwip thwip".

Oh yeah... I had it in camo mode. But then I couldn't find it...

Okay, I'll say it: we're doomed! (his logo jumps off his torso, screaming) Yeah, I went there.

(to Doctor Doom) Okay, so you can fire bolts. We're impressed. But can you surrender quietly, hmm?

You're not right in the head.

Agent Phil Coulson

Director Fury, I need the full power of SHIELD's legal team stat! We need to limit how much actual meat you need to legally call something "meatloaf". We can save the budget, man!

Nick Fury

Coulson, we need to talk priorities.

He is so lovin' us right now.... Except you, Nova. (Nova scowls)

Nick Fury

Coulson, you have any idea where our teenage, heroes-in-training are?

Agent Phil Coulson

Sir, I'm in the middle of a crisis. This school's budget is a mess! I'm trimming the fat. No more doors on boy's bathroom stalls, rougher toilet paper - Hey, maybe SHIELD can donate...

Nick Fury

[Hangs up on him] Good Godfry, Coulson's gone native.

Agent Phil Coulson

You can settle it in detention.

Peter Parker

Detention! Principle Coulson, I've never had detention before in my life! Aww, my aunt is gonna kill me. Then she's going to bring me back as a zombie and kill me again!