Alan and Charlie in “Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle)”

Oh, Charlie, don't you think you need to slow down a bit?

Why would I want to do that?

Well, come on! Is-- is this lifestyle actually making you happy?

Let me answer that question with another question: Who would you rather be, you or me?

You're kidding, right? You have two black eyes and you're perched on a scrotum cozy. [reluctantly]: You.