Alan
You know what the pecking order is in this house? Charlie, women Charlie sleeps with, Charlie's bookie, women Charlie hopes to sleep with, termites, me!
Berta
Well, that's just not right.
Alan
Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? I-I-I can't really afford my own place. I mean, I could, but it certainly wouldn't be on the beach, unless the beach was Guadalcanal.
Berta
It's a shame, you paying all that money for an ex-wife and an ex-wife's house, and you're not allowed inside either one.
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