Two and a Half Men · Season 6, Episode 21
What'cha doin'?
Building an original 1978 Firebird. Got it on eBay.
OK. Why?
I had this model when I was little, remember? I spent a month building it and painting it and putting on all the decals...
Is that the one I tried to make a bong out of?
No, that was my Munster Mobile. And my Ventriloquist dummy, and my Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. My Firebird, you blowtorched with a cigarette lighter and Mom's Aqua-Net.
Oh, yeah, the "Fire"-bird.
[on their dinner date with Chelsea and Alan's blind date, who turns out to be Rose]
And for you, sir?
Whiskey, neat.
Since when do you drink hard liquor?
Since right now. I'd order a glass of crack if it were on the menu.
Tru dat.
So, once again, what are you up to?
OK, at first I was just doing a little light recon on Chelsea to make sure you weren't dating a whack job.
You thought Chelsea might be...? Go on.
Well, good news, she's not. She's got a cousin who's a truck stop hooker, and her mom's an honorary Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan, but Chelsea's clean as a whistle.
Kleagle?
According to Wikipedia, it's below Grand Dragon and above Exalted Cyclops.
[After finding Alan in the shower with Rose and Alan comes out] Explain it to me Alan, help me understand.
Oh, you mean Rose?
No, I mean the internal combustion engine...Yes I mean Rose!
[to Rose] So you actually wanna be with him?
[replies back to Charlie] I do.
[to Alan] And you believe she's got no ulterior motive whatsoever?
[replies back to Charlie] I do.
[to both of them] Fine. I now pronounce you fruit basket & nutcase! May God have mercy on your souls.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two and a Half Men pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
