I feel like the universe is playing some horrible practical joke on me.
Wow. I lost $8,000 playing poker, I have no idea where my car is, threw up in my mouth three times, and I'm still having a better night than you are.
I'm gonna have a daughter, Charlie.
OK, OK, first of all, you don't know if it's your kid. All we know is that when Judith and Herb broke up, you nailed Judith. Then when they reconciled, Herb nailed Judith. So the only thing we know for sure is that despite all outward appearances, Judith is a slut.
Unicorns? Oh, Herb, that's just a pony with a strap-on!
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