Tugs quotes

(quietly) Psst, oi. This might be your lucky day, Lillie. You might get to see the regatta!

Shh! Or everyone might think I did it deliberately.

Morning, Jack! Nice day for garbage.

There's no garbage today.

What do you mean no garbage today? There's heaps behind you!

No garbage today.

But I've gotta have garbage! You know; I've gotta have garbage. His Lordship needs garbage. We all need garbage!

It's the festival day or something, so there's no garbage!

Is that you, Warrior?

Er, yes, sir, It's me, sir.

Have You got Lord Stinker with you?

He's here, sir. Empty, and willing to work, sir.

There's no garbage today, right?

Well, er- I can see er- heaps. Er, Piles! Stacks! Er, mountains of garbage!

You see no garbage, Warrior! Jack'll tell you there is no garbage, eh, Jack?

There's no garbage.

Repeat after me, Warrior, there ain't no garbage!

There ain't no garbage…

Good! That is settled. Instead, today is Municipal Garbage Day, a festival of garbage!

Eh?

Municipal Garbage Day falls on the same day as the Bigg City Festival, so, to join in all the fun, we, the Garbage Corporation, are gonna' make our own barge float. No flowers or fancy bits, just prime, colourful garbage!

I don't believe this…

This is gonna take a very long time, so I'd cut your engine if I was you. Must get started now, heaps to do….

Things get stranger and stranger round 'ere! S'pose it is festival day.

Ahoy there! Ahoy! You there!

What do you want? We can't stop, I'm afraid, this load's urgent.

I quite understand, old man, but we are looking for one of our submarines. He is called; Grampus.

I ain't seen him since we left Lucky's Yard. He saved Lillie Lightship from sinking, so he's probably taking a well-deserved break somewhere.

Aha, that may be so, but he is one of ours, you know. He is not a civilian plaything!

Okay, Bluenose, that's enough. We haven't seen him so make wake, okay? My work's important.

Oh, your work's important! Pahaha! What you need, laddie, is a lesson in Naval discipline! (Grampus arrives) Aha, what has we here- What- [Grampus Squirts water in Bluenose's face] ooohh, What the-?!

Grampus

They're going to blow me up, today.

Huh?!

That is correct!

What?! But he's been a hero out there with Lillie and you lot are going to blow him up?! That's some kind of thanks.

Ah, you civilian lot may not understand this, but us Naval types know when we are past it. Instead of rotting in some breaker's yard, we volunteer us for gunnery practice! Targets, you know!

But that's not fair! He's still a useful submarine, he does lots of things for us!

Grampus

Yes Sir.

Grampus! Grampus, don't go! Dive and hide!

Grampus

It's no use… They'd catch up with me again somewhere. Thanks for all the fun we've had together. Bye, Ten Cents. Bye!

Bye…

Listen, we can't let this happen. I'll handle the barges, you go off and find O.J., tell him about Grampus. He'll know what to do… We'll save our mate Grampus if it's the last thing we do!

Right, Big Mac!

Well Grampus, you've been a very good submarine. Haha, we're all sad to see you go. But as you know; the Navy's got no further use for such a small vessel.

Grampus

Proud to have been of service, sir. Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to time to think.

Hahaha, very well, and good luck, laddie.

Grampus

(squirts one last salute of water as Bluenose leaves him) If the modern Navy's gonna' be like him, I'd be better off down with the fishes.

[TV version only] All guns ready for target practice! Stand by to fire at white flags!

Grampus

What th-? Why are they parading out here? They're gonna' be in the line of fire! STAY CLEAR!

[TV version only] Ahoy, Tugs! Clear the area! Keep clear!

It's the destroyer, warning us we're in the danger zone!

O.J.

Ignore it!

What, do you mean? And get a direct hit? No, thank you very much! THEY'RE GOING TO OPEN FIRE!

[TV version only] KEEP CLEAR!

Keep going, Top Hat! The more of us here, the safer we are!

Grampus

Get clear! They're about to start firing!

O.J.

Grampus, just do as I say. Give him a line, Ten Cents!

Alright, O.J.!

O.J.

Big Mac'll leave the barge in your place. Let's hope all they see from that distance, is the target flags. Right! Keep moving!

Grampus

The Navy's not going to like this! Just leave me here, or you'll all get into trouble! Please… Don't do it!

Hello, hello, hello! What's all this then? What's going on?

Clear off, Zorran. It's our business.

No, it's not! Deal's a deal! Ten Cents said he'd let us in on it!

No, I never!

You lot are up to something! And anyway, you owe us for two barges of timber. Move aside, Top Hat, and let me see.

O.J

Mind your own business, Zorran!

I am. This is my business, I'm looking for my timber!

Well, it isn't here! Just back off and leave us alone. All we've got 'ere is our float for the show.

[spots Grampus and laughs maliciously] Some float! Stealing government property, eh? Nice little number, boys, very nice. That's the 3rd crime to report. Captain Zero'll tell the Navy-

Move it, Zorran! Old boy.

Er, only a game, you understand, Hercules….

I know all about your games, Zorran. Beat it! And take your driftwood with you.

Oh, I'm going to. You'll hear about it from the Navy! Don't worry.

Yes, I'm off as well…. I wasted far too much time already!

Alright, m'dears, I don't think I'll wait around for answers. I want to be in the show, today, too! You can tell me all later. Now, where's Warrior got to…?

Warrior? Warrior?

Yes sir?

Let’s do a quick check. Barge completed with colourful oil drums and streamers? Yes. His lordship, spic and span? Yes. Jack, wearing colourful hat? Yes. Good! Well, that is it!

I just don’t believe this! What are they gonna' say when they see this junk heap?

Well, I like the banner; "Municipal Garbage wishes you all a happy day!"

Ha Ha, Warrior! You can go now, the Regatta's about to start! Just join it, and be proud of the Municipal Garbage Corporation, alright? On your way now, and good luck!

Thank you sir! It’s been, er, um, a most enjoyable day!

Nice job that, very nice job. I can enjoy my day, now. Good luck, Warrior!

Hello, everyone! This is the Princess Alice, welcoming you to the Annual Regatta! Thank you! Now, you know the drill! When the cannon fires, the parade will start! This year, Top Hat (from the Star fleet) will lead off! Enjoy yourselves! There goes Top Hat followed by shipmates O.J., Big Mac and Warrior, all towing splendid barges! They're followed by Zak from the Zero fleet, towing the corporation lightship! Here come Zip and Zug, the Zero switchers, towing a new upriver breakfast, wood and bananas! Ha ha, Following them comes a colourful group: Ten Cents and Sunshine towing Little Ditcher…AND Sally Seaplane! Hello, Sally! And Hercules, just by himself! Never mind, Hercules, maybe next year, OK? Coming from the famous Bridge Cafe, is Zorran, towing the loudest barge of the day! Nice music, guys! Very nice music! Well done, everyone! You all look splendid! The Princess Alice considers this to be the best year yet. This means…and hold it…Yes, that you've all won a prize! Okay, okay, thanks to you all. Now, enough parading; let's get this party going!

Captain Star

[narrating] When night time came, O.J. gathered all the other Star tugs around him outside Lucky's Yard. None of them really knew what was going on.

O.J.

Alright, Lillie, do your bit!

[switches light on] Hello, boys! They repaired me in record time so I could see the Regatta. [gasp] You all look splendid!

Aw, thank you!

So do you!

Oi, it's Grampus! And he's got the Star flag!

Grampus

They didn't blow me up today! The Navy sold me to Captain Star, so I'm one of you now!

Captain Star

[narrating] Johnny Cuba had dropped anchor, waiting 'til he wasn't seen.

Nobody in sight. That's what I like. Time to slip in closer to port and, er…. heh, heh, meet my Business Pals…

Captain Star

[narrating] But Johnny Cuba's idea of a business pal was, like himself, a Gangster.

Ahoy there! Hove to! Customs inspection! You are within port limits! I'm coming aboard! Hey! Watch out! What're you doing?! Careful! Car- Ow! [roughly pushed onto nearby rocks] Aargh!

Ha Ha, Sorry, mate! The wind must've blown me off course! [cackling]

I don't like it 'ere. It's out of bounds to shipping…

Too bad. Now I need Coal, right away! And be quick about it or I'll break yer stack!

You mean steal it?!

Did I say steal? Just get it when nobody's looking!

Yes sir… Right away, sir…

And DON'T try anything fancy! Or you'll find yourself at the bottom of the harbour with cement in your hold! [cackles]

Captain Star

[narrating] Zebedee was now in a terrible situation. Johnny Cuba would sink him if he didn't help him. And because of something that happened years ago between those two, he knew Captain Zero would sink him if he did. So, he couldn't go and tell the Captain, could he? While Zebedee was trying to work this out, he saw the two Star switchers out in the bay struggling with Scuttlebutt Pete.

Come on, you two! Get sorted out or you won't get me home before the storm breaks!

I cannot hold ya, man!

We're doing our best!

Do better than that! You've got to!

I can't, the wind's too strong!

What're we gonna do?!

If only I could fix one more line! Oi! Zebedee! Give us a hand!

Sorry, can't stop! Important job to do.

Just hold him steady while I get another line aboard, that's all!

Why should I?

Well, 'cos we're in trouble, that's why!

And you owe us one for the barge!

Alright, just this once, but don't tell Captain Zero!

That's it… Thanks, Zebedee.

Aye, that's just what we needed.

And not a word, Scuttlebutt!

Me?! I never gossip! Never!

That'll be the day. If Captain Zero knows I helped Star tugs, I'm Rust!

That's odd. I thought I was the only one stuck with coal deliveries today. I wonder what's he up to? I think I'd better check with Captain Star…

Hey, Big Mac! I've just heard from Sally Seaplane that Hercules has got the Princess Alice in tow.

Mmm, sounds serious.

Yeah, been damaged at sea.

Not another of your disasters, Warrior?

Not me, honest!

[laughs] I was joking! Come on, we'll tell O.J., then go out and bring her in.

Yeah. Anything to help the Princess Alice!

Never thought I'd be glad to see you Zebedee!

What?! Oh dear, how'd a coast guard get in this mess?

Johnny Cuba pushed me into the rocks. My engine's dead, I need a tow.

Johnny who?!?

Don't play dumb with me, I hear Zero & Johnny are good buddies.

Oh, well, not any-more. Our capt-

Aha?! So you do know him!

Captain Star

Docking a liner can be a hazardous business for tugs, especially with cross currents and the danger of this high wind. Usually the liner can assist, but the Princess Alice couldn't do much due to the damage to her rudder. With all their expertise and experience, the Star Tug team were finding her very difficult to keep under their control…

What's happening back there? Come on, Stars!

She's not responding, Hercules! The wind's too strong!

I can't hold on much longer!

Full power, everybody!

I'm pulling full-steam, can't do no more!

O.J.

We need another tug! Just one more'd do it!

Sorry, I can't help! I'm needed in case of fire!

O.J.

Come on, lads, hold it!

Oh, look out, I'm in TROUBLE!

O.J.

Come on, somebody!

We're losing it! We'll be crushed between ship and quayside!

This is two you owe me, switchers!

Zebedee! Aw, thanks, just in time! You're a lifesaver!

O.J.

Thank you, Zebedee! She's under control again!

Got her, O.J.!

Aw hey, thanks, Zebedee.

Zero'll have my boiler for this…

[Clears Throat] Hello, Mr Cuba sir.

Well well well it's Zebee back again. Keep doing as Johhny Cuba Tells ya, and you'll come to no harm, ya with me?

Yes Mr Cuba, the winds stopping-

Right, there's a few other little things I want you to do for me before we go. Now listen, this is what I Wan-

Oh! Oh! Uh, it's Hercules!

Hello, what's going on here? Oh, yes, Zebedee! And where are you taking our friend, the well-known Johnny Cuba, eh?

Oh. Well- I-

What's it to you, Star?

We know you, Johnny Cuba. Up to no good. We'll hand him over to the authorities, Zebedee, they may like to have a word with him.

No, ya don't! [fires up his engine]

Wait a minute!

Captain Star

[narrating] The gangster tried to back out, but collided with Zebedee.

You're not going anywhere!

Captain Star

[narrating] Just to make sure, Zebedee rammed into Johnny Cuba, trapping him against the quayside.

Well done, Zebedee, m'dear! Come on, let's take him in.

I'll break your stack for this one! THEY CAN'T HOLD JOHNNY CUBA!

Captain Star

[narrating] The authorities did hold Johnny Cuba, and gave official thanks to Zebedee and Hercules.