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Torchwood quotes

349 quotes · page 2 of 24

Torchwood
All S1 S2 S3 S4

S1 E2Day One

What are we doing, having Chinese while a girl fights for her life? We should be helping her.

Actually, while we've been eating, the computers have been running a full bio-scan on Carys, profiling her blood, metabolism, organs, the works. So we can see what effect the alien is having on her. They've also been taking samples of the air in the cell, so we can analyse any change in the environment around her. Now, is that enough? Do you want more? 'Cause... gets kind of boring.

You've been hidden down here too long. Spending so much time with the alien stuff. You've lost what it means to be human.

So remind us. Tell me what it means to be human in the twenty-first century.

[After finding Owen in the cell naked]

Jack, Carys is out of her cell!

Cheeky bitch took my swipe card.

I'll deal with it. Tell Owen he needs to work on those abs a bit harder.

I was taking some readings, you know, keeping an eye on her, and bang!

You got away lightly. Be thankful she was only interested your swipe card.

Are you alright now, or are you still feeling a bit of a cock?

[After finding Carys' ex as nothing more than a pile of dust]

Tosh was right - she went straight for the ex-boyfriend. Lucky she's young; work your way through my back catalogue, we'll be here till the Sun explodes.

It's narrowed the numbers down, I could check through the rest. You know, the old fashioned way. With my eyes.

[Owen is demonstrating what will eventually happen if the alien host stays in Carys for too long]

Preasure mounts in the brain, the lungs collapse (making breathing impossible) and then-

[the rat explodes violently]

Rat jam.

So what's our next move?

Stop the entire city of Cardiff from shagging?

Hmm... put bromide in the water supply.

No, too hit and miss.

Yeah, and the water company got really pissed off last time we did that...

S1 E3Ghost Machine

BBernie

[To Owen after a chase] Don't hurt me, I've got asthma!

I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna bloody kill you!

Why should you get away with it? You said you were sorry, said you didn't want to hurt her, but you didn't STOP! What if I didn't stop? Would I be sorry?

Owen, no...

No! It... it was as real as this is. More real. I didn't just see that little boy. I could... I could hear what he was thinking, I could feel it. Like I was lost!

Intense emotions can be part of a neurological event. Hallucinations? Dementia?

I wasn't hallucinating, Owen! And I'm NOT bloody senile!

[to Bernie's mother] Hi, I'm looking for Bernie. Is he in?

BSBernie's Mother

[smoking a cigarette whilst dressed in PJ's] Friends of his are ya?

[looks at Gwen uncertainly] Yes, I'm from the...

BSBernie's Mother

[looks Tosh and Gwen up and down] Well, I'm his mother, and he's a robbing little bastard who's not setting a foot in this house till he pays me the fifty quid he owes me. [slams the door in their faces]

What? I have to do that again?!

Someone does! Any volunteers? [throws the ghost device at Owen]

Woah!

We don't know what it is, what it does.

Nope.

Jack, this could be dangerous.

Yeah.

Uh, I don't mean to be picky, but I think I can spot some flaws in this plan...

I'm sorry! I thought you were the guys who gave up looking for a nineteen year old kid this morning! I figured maybe you were up for something more exciting!

S1 E4Cyberwoman

All I'm saying is that once in a while I'd like to drive.

Yeah, and all I'm saying is no.

Why not?

Look I've shared cars with women before, I know what'll happen, there's an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seat's in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheel's in my crotch. By time I've sorted all that out, aliens will've taken Newport!

What about a rota? Different people on different days?

We're a secret organization hunting alien technology from an underground base, and you want a rota for who drives.

...Just trying to help.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Torchwood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.