[During Top Gear Stuntman's first record attempt to jump cars in reverse]
If you've just tuned in, you may be thinking, 'Oh no, he's facing the wrong way!'. But no, he is about to enter the history books...in reverse.
“June 22nd, 2008” · Season 11, Episode 1
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (25), James May (14), Richard Hammond (12)
[Jeremy and James laughing at Richard Hammond's Suzuki Vitara]
Officer Barbie has arrived!
[voiceover] It really was time for a challenge.
We don't yet know what we've gotta do.
Well if it's go to Brighton and pose undercover in gay clubs you're right there already.
[James and Jeremy laugh]
...yeah.
We've got a challenge here, boys.
Please don't let it have the word "Brighton" in it...
[Showing the slogan painted on his Lexus Police Car]
Catching crims and locking them up...in your community.
[upon Jeremy's arrival with his car's Italian-inspired police livery]
Oh, good God. The Carabinieri have arrived.
(N.B. Jeremy's car's paint scheme was actually based on that of the Italian State Police, not the Carabinieri - although real Polizia di Stato cars presumably don't say "IT'S THE FILTH" in reversed letters, "ECNALUBMA"-style, on the bonnets.)
[reading his police slogan]
"In jail no one can hear you scream" - scary.
All you're going to do with this [indicates Jeremy's rear-wheel spike attachments] is generate headlines: "POLICE CHOP MORE PEOPLE'S FEET OFF".
[During the Police Car challenge, on sirens]
[voiceover] James then demonstrated his siren... [James' Lexus plays "Camptown Races" in a cheesy electronic voice]...which he'd got from an ice-cream van.
They're gonna be really impressed with that on an American police video.
No, they stop for an ice-cream. And then they're nicked.
May I? [voiceover] Mine was much more high-tech. [Shows Clarkson pressing button on child's sound toy, the car moos] Oh, wait, no, that's the cow.
[upon Richard's arrival]
The Pet Cop Boys are here. No, wait. [reads Richard's car-door graphic] The Police.
Yeah, well, the police are coming... [indicates door] "The Police".
De do do do, de da da da.
[During the Police Car challenge, about Hammond's 'stinger']
[voiceover] It was unmistakably a doormat with some nails in it.
[[as the Stig begins a lap in a standard-issue police Astra]
He's proceeding! In a westerly direction.
Hope you like prison food, crims... looking good... cock!
What is it? "Ambitious, but rubbish."
So we're now watching James, in a hot pursuit situation?
Yeah. How long have you got before you have to go home tonight?
[During the 'Arrest the Stig' part of the Police Car challenge, after May's paint attempt]
[voiceover] Sadly there was one invention James hadn't considered.
[shows the Stig using his windscreen wipers to clear the paint off]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.