Mark quotes from Top Chef

I read the diet of the vulture, and it's not boots and road tires. Turns out that they eat little fish, rabbits, and lamb.. which is very similar to my diet.

First-of-the-season cranberries. Awesome! You know, that's Christmastime right there, isn't it?

We walk into the kitchen and it's huge. Huge! You could probably fit the Yankee Stadium in their kitchen, I think.

We've been given the choice of two grills. One is gas-operated, one is charcoal. I'm the only one that had the testicular fortitude to pick a real charcoal grill. This is how I cook on a barbecue.

A few people go for shrimp straight off the bat. And I thought, they're really taking my gig. How can I throw the [shrimp on the barbie] when they're already doing it? Fucked up, isn't it? [laughs]

[talking head] I draw knives, and I get Mark. This guy's fucking.. New Zealand, New England.. where the hell is Mark from? We're not going to have anything in common!

Why don't we just put down a bunch of movies?

Yep, so what are your movies? I love Dumb and Dumber. I think it's funny as shit.

To Kill A Mockingbird.

Right, old school..

Crazy Bad..

Crazy Bad? What's that?

[talking head] "Like, what movies do you watch?" And he starts naming this stuff, and all I hear is "blaaaah blaaaah blahhhh."

[talking head] He has not seen Once Were Warriors or Mad Max or Bad Boy Bubby.

What about the Christmas movie?

Which one?

Oh, oh, oh.. What's the one with the kid that gets shot with a B.B. in his eye and they go get Asian food instead? You know what I'm talking about? He takes the glass light for his mom's Christmas, and he puts it in the window..

I don't know.

And they go and have Chinese food and have duck instead of normal turkey because the turkey got fucked up? It's a normal Christmas movie.

Do you know what it is? I don't know.

It's a Christmas fucking movie..

Yeah, what's it called?

And they sit down at the table.. [goes to Spike and Manuel] What's that Christmas movie, you guys? "You got your eye shot out.."

A Christmas Story.

A Christmas Story. Got it. Duck.

[talking head] A Christmas Story is something that, you know, all the families, everybody's seen it. It's, um.. it's.. I believe it's a comedy.