Tom quotes from Tom Goes to the Mayor

Tom

Well thanks. Thank you very much.

Tom

What!

Mayor

Well I've been thinking about this and it's just really doesn't make sense for your saxman to play at Lou's grand opening. I mean we'd actually like someone to sing about Lou's waterbeds and promotional offers. Your guy's mouth will be tied up due to tooting on his horn.

Tom

Huh Well I mean ahh. Let me just throw this out at ya. I mean I could if I get some brochures together, educate myself on waterbeds maybe I could write some lyrics for saxman and uh you know I could sing 'em.

Mayor

Mmmmmm mmm mmm mmm. You know I love the sound of your singing voice Tom.

Saxman

Hey

Tom

Oh geez Saxman, you scared me. Oh man what um why aren't you outside in your pup tent?

Saxman

Oh it's so cold out there brother. It's frosty.

Tom

Wait a minute Saxman, what's that on your legs there?

Saxman

I found these tiny pants in this totally fun room.

Tom

Those are Brendin's Saxman. My son's that's my step-son's room your fiddling around in.

Saxman

Whoa whoa man, dude. Chill out, where's the anger coming from?

Tom

I'm sa..

Saxman

Is this the way you treat a partner?

Tom

Just really stressed out, got our concert tomorrow and and you know. I'm not exactly getting the luck of the draw with these lyrics here.

Saxman

I have just the thing to calm you down my brother. (He pushes Tom down into the bed with his foot) Yeah get all snuggled down there.

Tom

Saxman.. h-hold on a second-

Saxman

Shhhhh. Let my sax notes massage your soul brother. (he plays his Soprano Sax in Tom's face, a colorful sleeping gas billows out) Sleep baby.. sleep.

Saxman

Half off.

Tom

Right. Maybe you-

Saxman

Half off..

Tom

can do a C sharp

Saxman

See, you're a half step off on the half off. (laughs)

Tom

Just trying to-

Saxman

Half off.

Tom

Yeah you're probably right. Uh, let me just make a note of that here. Ah, shoot I'm working on the bass cleft here. You know what Saxman? Let's take five. Um, there's actually something I wanted to get off my chest since this morning. Did you and your friends happen come in the house and have some kind of jazz jam last night?

Saxman

What in how? No I slept like a baby right out there in my pup tent.

Tom

Uh, that's weird. Just, uh, it's nothing.. There's just..there's some piles of BM in my bedroom and just uhh, something I don't know. You know what? Forget it. Let's take it from the top. 2,3,4. If we don't ask for your customer code...

Saxman

Cut cuuuut. It's not working man. It's just not working.

Tom

Aww, we'll get there, come on. You know we just need to rhyme some of these words. I haven't (sighs) Let's see what rhymes with consumer price rebate.

Saxman

No no. It's not that your rhyming like diamond. It's just that, my lips are all chapped. I need to wet 'em up. Darn!

Tom

What is it?

Saxman

Well the best way is to kiss something for a while, you know. Just to moisten up my lips.

Tom

Ooh..kay..?

Saxman

Oh Tom, I wouldn't ask you if I knew another way, but you know we're burning studio time here.

Tom

Oh I see your sayin'. You wanna ..wanna kiss me?

Saxman

Well it's not so much that I want to but it's my chops, you know they need to touch another man's lips to bring them back to life.

Tom

Oh, alright. I guess a kiss on the mouth between friends can't hurt. (Tom and Saxman ease in slowly for a kiss)

Ahhhh!!

Tom

Joy! You're back!

My step dad, and some man in our kitchen.

Mayor

Tom, it's me. Where the heck are you?

Tom

Uhhh I'm at home, I..I got grounded.

Mayor

Ooo that sucks. I wish you could have seen The Saxman he was great.

Tom

Oh

Mayor

Yeah

Tom

He made it

Tom

I didn't know if he was going to make it.

Mayor

He sold about...eight or nine cd's. I mean he made a huge profit out of the show.

Tom

Oh..well we're not really working together anymore. Joy doesn't really want me, you know, hanging around with him, so.

Mayor

Well that's a bummer. How long are going to be grounded for?

Tom

Uh..uh probably a couple of weeks.

Mayor

Ehh

Tom

Hows the..hows the grand opening. Everything.

Mayor

Yeah it was great Gimball Twins are playing now.

Tom

Oh, uhh no I wish I could see them. I love the Gimball Twins.

Mayor

Yeah they're hilarious.

Tom

So umm. Well I should probably get off the phone.

Tom

No, not really,br>

Tom

I'll talk to you later.

Mayor

Ok you can call later.

Tom

bye.

Tom

Uh, first off, it's Tom Peters here, and I'm.. I'm sorry did you say you had access to my medical records?

Mayor

Of course he does Tom, Michael is a medical doctor. He's also the official rep for Provo-C.

Tom

Uh, I'm just not sure what, you know, what that is.