Joy quotes from Tom Goes to the Mayor

GET MY BOYS TO BASS FEST ..... NOWWWWWWWWWW!!! (room shakes from her thunderous voice)

Saxman

Half off.

Tom

Right. Maybe you-

Saxman

Half off..

Tom

can do a C sharp

Saxman

See, you're a half step off on the half off. (laughs)

Tom

Just trying to-

Saxman

Half off.

Tom

Yeah you're probably right. Uh, let me just make a note of that here. Ah, shoot I'm working on the bass cleft here. You know what Saxman? Let's take five. Um, there's actually something I wanted to get off my chest since this morning. Did you and your friends happen come in the house and have some kind of jazz jam last night?

Saxman

What in how? No I slept like a baby right out there in my pup tent.

Tom

Uh, that's weird. Just, uh, it's nothing.. There's just..there's some piles of BM in my bedroom and just uhh, something I don't know. You know what? Forget it. Let's take it from the top. 2,3,4. If we don't ask for your customer code...

Saxman

Cut cuuuut. It's not working man. It's just not working.

Tom

Aww, we'll get there, come on. You know we just need to rhyme some of these words. I haven't (sighs) Let's see what rhymes with consumer price rebate.

Saxman

No no. It's not that your rhyming like diamond. It's just that, my lips are all chapped. I need to wet 'em up. Darn!

Tom

What is it?

Saxman

Well the best way is to kiss something for a while, you know. Just to moisten up my lips.

Tom

Ooh..kay..?

Saxman

Oh Tom, I wouldn't ask you if I knew another way, but you know we're burning studio time here.

Tom

Oh I see your sayin'. You wanna ..wanna kiss me?

Saxman

Well it's not so much that I want to but it's my chops, you know they need to touch another man's lips to bring them back to life.

Tom

Oh, alright. I guess a kiss on the mouth between friends can't hurt. (Tom and Saxman ease in slowly for a kiss)

Ahhhh!!

Tom

Joy! You're back!

My step dad, and some man in our kitchen.

Well that's not going to happen.

And the other alternative is to perform emergency testicular surgery which would be quite intentsive and painful. I'm talking balls painful.