Saxman quotes from Tom Goes to the Mayor

Saxman

Well alright.

Tom

Uh Tom Peters here, umm I live around the area. Here bro umm I just want to tell you, your music's wonderful.

Saxman

Well thank you brother I think you're wonderful haha.

Tom

Hahaha

Saxman

Great man

Tom

Cool (Thinking In Head: I'd give my left thumb to be this guy's manager). Ah man you must be making a killing out here with these great tunes right bro?

Saxman

I'm a little bit done on my luck. To tell you the truth I..you know they kicked me out of house and home because of this damn waterbed galleria.

Tom

Uh what do you mean, you live here on the boardwalk?

Saxman

Yeah bro it's a real bummer.

Tom

Uh that doesn't sound fair.

Saxman

A waterbed doesn't anybody who wants a waterbed have one already, that's my take on it. Haha ahh damn.

Tom

Ahh well tell you what Saxman, I may have a quick fix uhh my wife is out of town right now visiting her ex-husband, eh shoots she really doesn't like me having men stay over.

Saxman

Oh boy

Saxman

Ah that is so sweet man that is so good of you.

Saxman

Ahh cut. Cuuuut!

Tom

Wha..what's wrong now Saxman?

Saxman

Well I'm just used to playing with my shirt off you know. The shirt is just confining, I just have such wind when I when I blow that I need to. Can I. Bust out.

Tom

Yeah I guess. Let's get some shirtless takes haha. Let's roll again.

Saxman

Roll again.

Tom

Back to one.

Saxman

Ok....Cut cut cut cut.

Tom

Ahhh what is it now Saxman?

Saxman

I just feel uncomfortable.

Tom

Why?

Saxman

Well I think it's that I'm the only one with my shirt off now and that puts me totally out of balance with the flow and vibe of the mood and I'm trying to bring it, you see and it's not being brought.

Tom

Ahhh.

Saxman

Would you take your shirt off to. Just to keep me company.

Tom

Uhh ok. (Tom removes his shirt)

Saxman

Great.

Saxman

Hey

Tom

Oh geez Saxman, you scared me. Oh man what um why aren't you outside in your pup tent?

Saxman

Oh it's so cold out there brother. It's frosty.

Tom

Wait a minute Saxman, what's that on your legs there?

Saxman

I found these tiny pants in this totally fun room.

Tom

Those are Brendin's Saxman. My son's that's my step-son's room your fiddling around in.

Saxman

Whoa whoa man, dude. Chill out, where's the anger coming from?

Tom

I'm sa..

Saxman

Is this the way you treat a partner?

Tom

Just really stressed out, got our concert tomorrow and and you know. I'm not exactly getting the luck of the draw with these lyrics here.

Saxman

I have just the thing to calm you down my brother. (He pushes Tom down into the bed with his foot) Yeah get all snuggled down there.

Tom

Saxman.. h-hold on a second-

Saxman

Shhhhh. Let my sax notes massage your soul brother. (he plays his Soprano Sax in Tom's face, a colorful sleeping gas billows out) Sleep baby.. sleep.

Saxman

Half off.

Tom

Right. Maybe you-

Saxman

Half off..

Tom

can do a C sharp

Saxman

See, you're a half step off on the half off. (laughs)

Tom

Just trying to-

Saxman

Half off.

Tom

Yeah you're probably right. Uh, let me just make a note of that here. Ah, shoot I'm working on the bass cleft here. You know what Saxman? Let's take five. Um, there's actually something I wanted to get off my chest since this morning. Did you and your friends happen come in the house and have some kind of jazz jam last night?

Saxman

What in how? No I slept like a baby right out there in my pup tent.

Tom

Uh, that's weird. Just, uh, it's nothing.. There's just..there's some piles of BM in my bedroom and just uhh, something I don't know. You know what? Forget it. Let's take it from the top. 2,3,4. If we don't ask for your customer code...

Saxman

Cut cuuuut. It's not working man. It's just not working.

Tom

Aww, we'll get there, come on. You know we just need to rhyme some of these words. I haven't (sighs) Let's see what rhymes with consumer price rebate.

Saxman

No no. It's not that your rhyming like diamond. It's just that, my lips are all chapped. I need to wet 'em up. Darn!

Tom

What is it?

Saxman

Well the best way is to kiss something for a while, you know. Just to moisten up my lips.

Tom

Ooh..kay..?

Saxman

Oh Tom, I wouldn't ask you if I knew another way, but you know we're burning studio time here.

Tom

Oh I see your sayin'. You wanna ..wanna kiss me?

Saxman

Well it's not so much that I want to but it's my chops, you know they need to touch another man's lips to bring them back to life.

Tom

Oh, alright. I guess a kiss on the mouth between friends can't hurt. (Tom and Saxman ease in slowly for a kiss)

Ahhhh!!

Tom

Joy! You're back!

My step dad, and some man in our kitchen.