Do you remember me, Mrs. Titus?
TGrandma Titus
Of course, Tommy. Have you found a nice young man to settle down with?
I'm not gay.
TGrandma Titus
Oh. Then you're not the Tommy I knew.
“Grandma Titus” · Season 3, Episode 8
In this episode: Titus (3), Dave Titus (1), Tommy Shafter (1)
TGrandma Titus
George Washington crossed the Delaware River to get to the whores!
Delaware is famous for its whores.
Christopher (in the Neutral Space): We all have that person in the family who, when you get a phone call at 3:00am from the police, ho-ho, you know it's about them. I have seven of them in my family -- and they're all my mom!
Alzheimer's: a disease marked by the progressive loss of mental capacity. One minute, you're making breakfast for your grandkids; the next minute, you're holding pancakes up to your ears and going, "Hey, do these go with my house coat?"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Titus pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.