The Young Ones · Season 1, Episode 5
Ok! Pop music! Let's go! Anyone here like the Human League? [No-one is paying attention] Ok! [The song plays quietly. Two policemen run in and smash the record player]
Right, the music's too loud! The neighbours have been complaining! You just watch your step sonny!
Wow, what is this? Tobacco or... Pink Floyd?
That's just typical. Five minutes before the most important party of my life and the house is destroyed by a giant sandwich.
Next week, right, I'm going to blow up a panda in Croydon.
Yeah, right on! Bloody zoos, who needs 'em?
I mean a police car, you terminal wally!
[trying to host a party] That's my flatmate Vyvyan. Hi, Vyvyan, what are you doing?
[pauses from doing push-ups] Shut up, you girl!
[laughs] He's incredible! I'm not a girl at all! Mind you, we're all pretty potty in this house. Last night, right, we were all watching the television and it was a program we wanted to watch, you know, and, uh, we were just watching it and right in the middle of it, I got up and turned it off! Mad! I don't care what I do, you know. Unless it's work or anything like that, you know. Last Wednesday we stayed up 'til one o'clock in the morning!
There's no chance of using your toilet, is there?
No.
I thought not, that's why I pissed in your garden.
[The clock's hands have spun rapidly.]
Is that the time?
No, the clock's broken. The hands keep whizzing round really fast. It's only really half past seven.
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