I suppose you think it's pretty weird, don't you Mike? Well, you'd be right. 'Cause THAT'S the kind of guy I am, right? WEIRD. Which is why I go over people's heads. A bit like an aeroplane! You think I'm an aeroplane, don't you, Mike? Well, I'm not.
Neil, are these lentils South African?!
Well, ummm...
You bastard! You complete and utter bastard! Why don't you just go out and become a policeman?! Become a pig?! There's no difference, you know! [burns hand on lentils] There's no difference, you know! You think there is, but there isn't! I suppose you hate gay people too! Hippie!
Neil... what are you doing, Neil? To make a meal, Neil? Huh. Surreal! From totalitarian vegetables, how much does it cost, Neil?
... well actually, it's about £4.50 each.
RMRick & Mike
£4.50?!
I'm not paying you money to eat black men! I could become a pig and do that for free!
None of you ever give the slightest consideration to a word I say!
That's because you're very boring!
OH! Oh, and I suppose you think ideas like peace and freedom and equality are boring too.
Yes, they are.
Ha! Fallen into my trap. In that case, why isn't Cliff Richard boring, clever trousers? Tell me that!
[Vyvyan stands up and hits Rick's head on the table.]
I've got a leg!
Hey Vyvyan, that's not unusual.
No look! I'm supposed to write an essay on it, but I think I'm just gonna stick it on the bonnet of my car!
I think Special Patrol Group is a stupid name for a hamster!
OK, I'll change it, then! Hello, Cliff Richard!
Bastard!
SPSpecial Patrol Group
I could murder a curry! [farts and flies across the basement]
Poor Special Patrol Group.
What's poor about him?
It'll take ten weeks to starve another one.
[To Vyvyan] Shut up! I'm trying to stir my coffee!
I thought you were dead!
That's no reason to hassle me on the toilet!
I'll handle this.
I'll handle this!
I'll handle this!
I can't handle this.
What are you doing with my crucifix, Rick?
Protesting!
I don't wanna bring you down or anything, but I think that is a really negative way to try and kill yourself, I mean I tried it hundreds of times, there's no way you can hammer in the last nail.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Young Ones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.