You know, Lorenzo, I've been thinking for some time that I need someone I can groom as a successor. I need a second-in-command!
(taken aback) Sir, I'm your second-in-command!
Right, so you see my problem. (Lorenzo pouts)
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(in a sauna with Truman, telling him about S.N.A.F.U.) Fridays are "Funny Hat Day". (two henchmen show up wearing funny hats and he yells at them) It's Thursday, you ninnies!
You know, buddy, we may be doomed, but there's no one I'd rather face a fiery demise with than you.
(smiles and pats Glowface's helmet, touched by his words) Ditto, sir.
And I'm sorry I called you "Lorenzo".
I am Lorenzo.
Whatever!
SSasquatch
Puny X's! Sasquatch command army of moles! Sasquatch make them hollow out entire planet! Soon Earth will collapse like empty egg shell!
If they hollow out the whole planet, where are they gonna put all the dirt?
SSasquatch
Sasquatch...not...think about...quiet, you!
KKimla
(about Sasquatch) And that monster is clearly just some bad actor in a cheap fur suit! (rips off Sasquatch's fur)
SSasquatch
OW! Sasquatch not some bad actor! Sasquatch very good actor!
(on the Money Bestinkifier) Once activated, this device will render all the money in the world smelly! Check it out! (holds out a smelly dollar bill and Lorenzo takes a whiff)
Oh my... (faints)
See, it works great!
Ooh, the Y's! Lorenzo, how's my hair?
You have none, sir.
Then fetch me some!
(feigning a Cockney accent) 'Ello, guv'nor. 'Ow's about a spot of toad in the 'ole?
(confused) Uh, what?
(drops the accent) I don't know! I have an accent now, okay?
TTrudy
Sweetie. Come on, open the door. You can have a private little girl talk. Just you and me. I made pudding.
I don't want to know!! (sobbing)
TTrudy
Now now, that's not true. At least not the part about the cantaloupe.
(to Trudy, sobbing) I SAID BRANDON IS DATING SOMEONE ELSE, HER NAME IS JODIE, AND SHE'S PROBALY BLONDE!!!
(to the X's) In addition, you have appalling taste in footwear.
No one insults our shoes! Get outta my house!
(angrily) I AM your house.
Then we'll get out. We don't need you, Mr. Smarty-House.
Where are the X's?
You just missed them, you blithering idiot!
Glowface I am not an idiot! (whispers to Lorenzo) Look up "blithering" in the dictiomanary.
So what evil scheme are you up to now? Are you going to have an army of muffins or a giant water balloon?
Glowface (to Lorenzo) Write those down.
Glowface (frightened and surrounded by guns) Please, what would poor Lorenzo do without me?
(with a wry smile) I believe I'd manage, sir.
BBoy
You okay, lady?
Yeah, I'm fine. This pile of broken glass and rusty nails broke my fall.
(to Home Base, when the baby starts crying) Now look what you've done! You've triggered its alarm system!
It's called "crying", dear, and it means you have to give it money. (gives some dollar bills to the baby, who continues crying)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The X's pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.