(after the baby fills his diaper) Mom, have you been cooking again?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(after demonstrating his Sonic Destructor) Now the Grand Canyon is nothing but a giant hole in the ground!
But...
Don't bother.
Glowface (when the baby soils himself again) Eww! What is that? (Mrs. X unties herself from her snare) Lorenzo! Bro, stop cuttin' the cheese!
(holding a tray of cheese cubes) But, sir, you asked for hors d'oeuvres! (gets kicked down by Mrs. X)
Coming up next, it's "Mom's in a Death Trap" by Anita Rescue!
(annoyed) That's not what happened!
(equally annoyed) I don't sound like that!
(insecure) Is my nose really that pointy?
Tuesday (after Truman calls Halloween the scariest day of the year) We see scarier stuff every day. Glowface, Sasquatch...
Your father's ingrown back hair. (shudders)
(sarcastically, on the "trick-or-treaters") How scary. It's a gardner and a damaged sheet.
(with his voice scrambler on, sounding like a young boy, as he and Lorenzo unzip their disguises) My plan worked perfectly! (jumps off his stilts and turns off his voice scrambler, then clears his throat) Worked perfectly!
(with his own voice scrambler on, sounding like a girl) Uh-huh. But, sir, couldn't we have--
Turn that off!
What are you, a house or a chicken coop?
A very frightened chicken coop!
(pretending to enjoy Halloween) Yeehaw. Oh, what a superb time I am having. Ha ha ha. Rock on, dude.
(notices Glowface squirming and whimpering) Sir, is something wrong?
Yes! I'm finally about to see the X's destroyed and I have to pee-pee!
Then I suggest you hurry up and go.
But I might miss it!
XMr. and Mrs. X
Braaaiiins...
Spleeeenns...
Don't you mean "brains"?
Allergic.
(giving a eulogy for his disintegrated necktie) He was the knot that held us together.
It was a clip-on, Dad.
...The knot that clip-onned us together.
(half-asleep) Auntie Gladys, is that you?
Uh... (feigns a Southern accent) yes.
It's cold out here. Go back in your grave.
(singing) By thy flooding leech-filled lakes, Camp Katonka! Mosquito bites and rattlesnakes, Camp Katonka! There's nothing like fresh air or running from a bear! Camp Katonka! Camp Katonka!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The X's pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.