Dana Scully quotes from The X-Files

Mulder

[referring to Lucy's seizure and incoherent speech] Whether she knew it or not, she's was repeating the exact words spoken by Amy's abductor at the exact same time, twenty miles across town.

Scully

That's spooky.

Mulder

[with a wry smile] That's my name, isn't it?

Mulder

Come on in.

Scully

What are you watching?

Mulder

Something that just came in the mail.

Scully

That's not your usual brand of entertainment... What is it?

Mulder

According to the magazine ad I answered, it's an alien autopsy. Guaranteed authentic.

Scully

You spent money for this?

Mulder

Twenty-nine ninety-five ..... plus shipping.

Scully

Mulder, this is even hokier than the one they aired on the Fox network, you can't even see what they're operating on!

Mulder

But it does look authentic, I mean the settings, the procedures. I mean it does look as if an actual autopsy is being prepared, doesn't it?

Scully

Well, technically, I don't know why they would be wearing gas masks.

Mulder

Well, maybe it's because of this green substance they seem to be extracting from the subject. Can you identify that?

Scully

Olive oil? Snake oil? I suppose you think it's alien blood?

Mulder

It's widely held that aliens don't have blood, Scully.

Scully

I guess this begs the question; if this is an alien autopsy...

Mulder

- where's the alien. But what so intriguing to me is the striking lack of detail here.

Scully

Well, what do you expect for $29.95?

Scully

I went to go see those MUFON members to find out about that woman, Betsy Hagopian.

Mulder

And what did you find?

Scully

I found out that she's dying. Along with a lot of other women who claim to be dying too. All of them who say that they've had these implanted in them. It's the same thing that I had removed from my own neck.

Mulder

But you're fine aren't you, Scully?

Scully

Am I? I don't know, Mulder. They said that they know me. That they've seen me before. It was freaky. They know things about me, about my disappearance.

Mulder

That is disturbing. But I don't think you should freak out until we find out what this thing is.

Scully

What is this place?

This was one of the most frightening places on the Earth. A place where society sent its monsters to live in shame and isolation. Now, their disease is all but conquered. Science has eliminated thousands of years of misery.

Scully

I've seen your methods of "elimination." What happened to the man who was with me in the forest? What about the people who were in this room?"

They had been exposed.

Scully

Exposed to what?

The same thing all these victims have been exposed to... victims of an inhuman project run by a man named Zama.

Scully

You mean Ishimaru. You hid him here after the war. He stayed here, and he continued his experiments.

The ruler of the world is no longer the country with the bravest soldiers, but the greatest scientists.

Mulder

Yeah, did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped the scarab beetle and possibly erected the pyramids to honor them, which may be just giant symbolic dung heaps?

Scully

Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?

Mulder

Bambi also has this theory I've never come acro--

Scully

Who?

Mulder

Doctor Berenbaum. Anyway, her theory is--

Scully

Her name is Bambi?

Mulder

Yeah. Both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.

Scully

Her name is Bambi?

Mulder

Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. No, not... not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? I mean, the mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was... repulsed.

Scully

Mulder... are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream?

Scully

[Watching Dr. Berenbaum and Ivanov walking away] Well, think of it this way, Mulder. By the time there's another invasion of artificially-intelligent, dung-eating robotic probes from outer space, maybe their uber-children will have devised a way to save our planet.

Mulder

You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully... but you smell bad.

These are good kids we're talking about. Outstanding students. And the details they gave... I doubt they could have made them up.

Scully

Let me guess. They told you about a wild beast entering in on a black mass, the drinking of blood, the sacrifice of an infant or a blond virgin.

Yeah. That's right. Excuse me.

Scully

Where's she going?

Mulder

You don't suppose she's a virgin, do you?

Scully

I doubt she's even a blond.

Mulder

Go ahead.

Scully

No, you go ahead.

Mulder

No, no, no. Be my guest. I know how much you like snapping on the latex.

Mulder

Let me drive.

Scully

I'm driving.

Mulder

Scully, it's not what you think.

Scully

I didn't see anything anyway.

Mulder

Will you let me drive!?

Scully

I'm driv-- why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho-man?

Mulder

No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.

Mulder

Eh, Scully, if I'm not mistaken, we're gonna be taking a left up here... eh, there's an intersection up here, you're gonna wanna... Scully! You're gonna, wanna...! You just... ran a stop sign back there, Scully.

Scully

Shut up, Mulder.

Mulder

Sure, fine, whatever.

Scully

Look, we've been working together for what two years now, we have differing opinions, but I didn't expect you to ditch me.

Mulder

I didn't ditch you.

Scully

Fine, whatever.

Scully

What's going on?

Mulder

Something cosmic

Scully

Maybe you're just seeing what you wanted to see.

Mulder

What makes you think I'd want to see that?