Fox Mulder quotes from The X-Files

These are good kids we're talking about. Outstanding students. And the details they gave... I doubt they could have made them up.

Scully

Let me guess. They told you about a wild beast entering in on a black mass, the drinking of blood, the sacrifice of an infant or a blond virgin.

Yeah. That's right. Excuse me.

Scully

Where's she going?

Mulder

You don't suppose she's a virgin, do you?

Scully

I doubt she's even a blond.

Mulder

Go ahead.

Scully

No, you go ahead.

Mulder

No, no, no. Be my guest. I know how much you like snapping on the latex.

Mulder

Let me drive.

Scully

I'm driving.

Mulder

Scully, it's not what you think.

Scully

I didn't see anything anyway.

Mulder

Will you let me drive!?

Scully

I'm driv-- why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho-man?

Mulder

No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.

Mulder

Eh, Scully, if I'm not mistaken, we're gonna be taking a left up here... eh, there's an intersection up here, you're gonna wanna... Scully! You're gonna, wanna...! You just... ran a stop sign back there, Scully.

Scully

Shut up, Mulder.

Mulder

Sure, fine, whatever.

Scully

Look, we've been working together for what two years now, we have differing opinions, but I didn't expect you to ditch me.

Mulder

I didn't ditch you.

Scully

Fine, whatever.

Scully

What's going on?

Mulder

Something cosmic

Scully

Maybe you're just seeing what you wanted to see.

Mulder

What makes you think I'd want to see that?

What the hell is that?

Mulder

Looks like the fuselage of a plane.

Scully

It's a North American P-51 Mustang.

Mulder

I just got very turned on.

Scully

Business is booming.

Mulder

I think you mean banging.

Scully

I called him Ahab and he called me Starbuck. So I named my dog Queequeg. It's funny, I just realized something.

Mulder

It's a bizarre name for a dog, huh?

Scully

No. How much you're like Ahab. You're so... consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to your megalomaniacal cosmology.

Mulder

Scully, are you coming on to me?

Mulder

Don't lay this off on me, you sneaky son of a bitch, you pulled me into this situation because you didn't have the courage to reveal the truth yourself.

Feel better now?

Mulder

You're a coward! You work in the shadows, you feed me scraps of information, hoping that I can piece it together. You make me risk my life, you risk my partner's life and you never risk your own! [X turns and starts to leave, Mulder aims and cocks his gun at X] You're not walking away from this.

You're risking your life right now.. [X turns and looks at Mulder] You failed. This is your success? Killing me? The truth is... you need me, Agent Mulder.

Mulder

You wanna smoke that, or do you wanna smoke on this?

Cigarette Smoking Man

Are you giving me a choice?

Mulder

I should shoot you right here, but they probably would be able to save you.

Cigarette Smoking Man

Do it, do it Agent Mulder.

Mulder

Or maybe shoot a bullet through your brain so you'd be bedridden for the rest of your life.

Cigarette Smoking Man

How is she?

Mulder

What do you care?

Cigarette Smoking Man

I've known your mother since before you were born, Fox.

Scully

(Listing the evidence she's found at the scene while Mulder plays with a baseball.) The angle of movement and deeper indentation on the right side of the mark suggest a left-handed individual. I've collected soil specimens and although numerous shoe impressions remain from the sandlot game, I think a couple of stone casts would prove invaluable to the investigation. (Pauses for response; he ignores her) Meanwhile, I've quit the FBI and have become a spokesperson for the ab-roller.

Mulder

Smell that. (Holds the baseball in front of her nose.) It's perfume. God this brings back a lot of memories of my sister... All-day pickup games out on the vineyard. Ride your bikes down to the beach, eat bologna sandwiches. Only place you had to be on time was home for dinner. Never had to lock your doors. No modems, no faxes, no cell phones.

Scully

Mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you'd lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.

Mulder

Scully, you don't know me as well as you think you do. You know I'm a working man and I live in a big city, but if I had to settle down? Build a home? It'd be in a place like this.

Scully

(Dryly) It'd be like living in Mayberry.

This is my deputy, Barney.

Mulder

Fife?!

(Sighing, frustrated) Pastor!

Scully

(Discussing the murdered baby's long list of birth defects) Imagine all a woman's hopes and dreams for her child, and for Nature to turn so cruel... What must a woman go through?

Mulder

Apparently not much in this case, if she'd just throw it out with the trash.

Scully

(Sadly) I- I guess I was just projecting on myself.

Mulder

Why, is there a history of genetic abnormalities in your family?

Scully

No.

Mulder

(Grinning) Well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys.

Scully

(Smiles back) What about your family?

Mulder

Aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.