Hoynes quotes from The West Wing

[to Josh] It's time to start leading. You're never going to be Leo McGarry to Jed Bartlet. But you can be Leo to me. I'm running for President. I want you with me. I want you to run my campaign.

Bartlet

John.

What did I do? Where in our past, what did I do to make you treat me this way? What did I ever do except deliver the South?

Bartlet

You shouldn't have made me beg, John.

Due respect, Mr President, you had just kicked my ass in the primary. I'm 15 years younger than you are and I have my career to think of.

Leo

John, I know we've had our ups and downs, but let me be your guy here for a second. You can't be thinking about being the first vice president in history to break a tie going the other way.

I'm not looking to make history.

Leo

Then what are you looking for, John? You're going to get ink either way.

Leo.

Leo

I know that it eats at you that there is friction between you and my staff. You think they don't respect you. And they do. They just don't trust you. And frankly, neither does the President.

Well...

Leo

I mean I know that's tough. But God, John, I'm the one that convinced him to put you on the ticket. And I'm going to be the one standing here when you make history, whether you're going to or not.

Leo, one of these days you're going to have to allow for the possibility that my motives might not always be sinister. You and your staff are remarkably smug, and frankly so is the President. And the fact that you think I give a damn that there is some friction between me and your staff is certainly proof enough of that.

Leo

John, you will not be able to set foot in the West Wing. You will not be on the ticket in three years.

Leo, I think you guys set me up.

Leo

You think the President of the United States can arrange for a 50-50 tie in the Senate?

I think the President of the United States can do pretty much whatever he wants.

Leo

You're wrong.

Josh

[while jogging] There was a reckless deregulation of the S&L industry by a Democratic Congress, it was flooded with S&L donations. A disaster which nearly collapsed the banking industry and cost the taxpayers 500 billion dollars.

What's your point?

Josh

We're no better with the money than they are.

Tell me about it.

Josh

Three-quarters of all soft money coming to the Democratic party isn't coming from labor unions, it's coming from corporations.

Yes, I know.

Josh

Over a hundred businesses gave both parties in excess of $125,000 in the last election.

I know.

Josh

They gave it to both parties! This isn't free speech or political values, Mr. Vice President. I don't know how we've done it, but we've legalized bribery.

Yup.

Josh

So, now what we've got is two corporate parties - one pro-life, one pro-choice.

Josh, like I said, what's your point? I mean, what's your point?

Josh

We've noticed the sudden increase in racquetball and late-night poker games with democratic opponents of campaign finance reform.

Come on, Josh, this is Washington, DC. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Democratic opponent of campaign finance reform.

Josh

Can we stop running for a second? [They stop running] You're backing the wrong horse. You read the same polls I do. President's gone up nine points in three weeks. 51% job approval - big deal. But he's going on national television tonight, that's going to be another 5 that's 56%, a 14-point bump in a month.

Look, Josh...

Josh

Hang on. If we bring this pilot back home alive, that's another 10 points. And then we're off to the races with a job approval rating in the high 60s. Now every Democratic congressman in a tight race is looking to get his picture taken with the president, and you're looking around the racquetball court, saying, "Where did everybody go?" You've had some experience battling Jed Bartlet when he's right, and you've had some experience battling him when he's popular. Why in the world would you want to try it when he's both at the same time?

You know something, Josh, sometimes I wonder if I'd listened to you two years ago, would I be President right now? Do you ever wonder that?

Josh

No sir, I know it for sure.

Toby

Mr. Vice President?

Didn't I do it right?

Toby

No, sir, you did it very well. I appreciate it.

Yeah.

Toby

I'm sure you know I was curious about why you'd volunteer for something like that.

Yeah.

Toby

So I got a hold of some private polling you've had done.

Oh. Yeah?

Toby

A significant number of people are concerned over your close ties to big oil.

Well, not anymore.

Toby

Yeah, but what I was wondering was why did you put the poll in the field at all? Mr. Vice President, what do you know that I don't?

Toby, the total tonnage of what I know that you don't could stun a team of oxen in its tracks. Good night.

Bartlet

[on the Vice President's refusal to endorse gun control in his home state] You're a hero in Texas!

I was a hero in Texas.

Bartlet

Texans don't like that you have the courage of your convictions?

They're not my convictions, they're yours.

Bartlet

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Twenty-nine states have "shall issue" laws.

Bartlet

And if you look at the state of New Jersey, which has a "may issue" law-if you look at changing that one word...

Look, I'm not saying...

Bartlet

Changing that one word means law enforcement can decide who gets a concealed weapon and when and where they can carry it. Texas has a "may issue" law in front of a legislature right now, and you going down there...

Me going down there is suicide, sir, and you know it.

Bartlet

It's counter-scheduling. You go in front of an unfriendly audience. You tell them something they don't want to hear-it shows you have courage.

So the editor of the New York Times will think I have courage, while the people who decide elections...

Bartlet

You're a hero in Texas!

I was a hero in Texas.

Bartlet

Texans don't like that you have the courage of your convictions?

They're not my convictions, they're yours.

Bartlet

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Forty percent of Americans have a gun in their home.

Bartlet

Only 16% believe gun ownership is an absolute right. Only 9% believe it's an absolute wrong. There's a middle. We can win them!

[testily] Not when we're running the MS defense, Mr. President!

Bartlet

Which we wouldn't have been doing if...

If what, sir?

Bartlet

Nothing.

Bartlet

You outed me, John. With that trip to Nashua, with the oil companies. You wanted people to start asking questions.

I needed to start running because nobody told me I wasn't! And you announced it! And I found out on television!

Bartlet

[yelling] So did my wife.

[yelling] This whole thing was mismanaged, sir!

Bartlet

Look...

[yelling] It was blown!

Bartlet

Yes, it was.

Yes, it was!

Bartlet

It's not easy being my Vice President, is it?

[sighs] No, sir.

Bartlet

I wouldn't think so. But it's the only way you're gonna get the nomination. You know that, right? If I win.

Yeah. And the only way you're gonna win is if I'm on the ticket. You know that, don't you, sir?

Bartlet

Yeah.

Bartlet

You'll go to Texas?

[nods] I want a seat at the table.

Bartlet

Yeah.

You can tell the President he doesn't have to worry about the book. I'm not going to try to make him look bad. I just wanted to get this scandal behind me, so I can get on with my life.

C.J.

Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Well... I'm gonna call it Full Disclosure. What do you think? Good title?

C.J.

Am I going to be in the book?

Yes. Not mentioning you would be kind of strange, don't you think? I mean, next to the President and the Vice President, you're the most visible person working in the White House.

C.J.

I'd prefer not to be.

C.J., you've got nothing to worry about, I promise.

C.J.

What are you going to do in the campaign when the stories start coming out?

Those stories?

C.J.

No. The other women.

I haven't decided to run, I really...

C.J.

Because there have been other women, right? Lots of women, right? Because the way you came on to me... way too smooth, way too practiced.

C.J., that was ten years ago. I'm sorry...

C.J.

When you run for President, the press is going to find some of those women. And if you try to attack them, if you get your opposition research team working on them, if you try to destroy them, if you try to say they're all bimbos and liars, then I'll be standing right there with them, and I'll be ready to take anything you or your people throw at me, anything. So don't make me tell the truth about you because it will be the whole truth.