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184 QUOTES

A character in The West Wing

Toby Ziegler quotes from The West Wing

Played by Richard Schiff · 184 quotes · page 11 of 13

Toby Ziegler

Played by Richard Schiff

The West Wing · 913 quotes

3rd most-quoted character in The West Wing: in 184 of its 913 quotes
Most scenes with: C.J. Cregg (44), Josh Lyman (43), Josiah Bartlet (35)

Scenes with Toby Ziegler 166

Sir, given the volatility of the region, a secret test would be how Iran would certainly proceed.

All right, let's put our cards on the table. What helped keep the Cold War cold was a sense of moral restraint that these weapons were too terrible to use.

That restraint won't exist in jihadists who strap bombs to their chests and enter nightclubs.

SSliger

There are moderate elements on the ascendancy in Iran.

Toby

"In the Koran, God commanded to kill the wicked and those who do not see the rights of the oppressed and to murder them. If we abide by the Koran, all of us should mobilize to kill." Televised address by President Alijani: Moderate.

Taylor Reid was talking about your spin on the decline in manufacturing jobs and he said...

Toby

'The tall lady's back to telling tall tales.'

The tall lady.... Carol, call 'The Taylor Reid Show' and book me on the next open slot. I'm going to reach down and rip off his puny, little face.

What do I need to catch up on?

Toby

The President signed a school vouchers bill for D.C.

Are you kidding? I leave the building for an hour and he switches parties.

Toby

Promise me something.

What?

Toby

You'll never let them make a list of my screw-ups. They wouldn't have enough paper.

Check with Margaret about the Mural Room.

The Vice President has it.

Toby

For what?

He's the Vice President, Toby. I don't have to justify his using a room.

Toby

Of course not. For what?

I'm sorry but can we really justify spending $800,000 on 'A Bio-Cultural Approach to the Study of Female Sexual Fantasy and Genital Arousal'?

Toby

How can we afford not to?

Toby

This conversation would be a whole lot easier if I weren't fighting my way through a cloud of Obsession.

There's no cloud.

Toby

It's about to precipitate out. It's about to rain Obsession.

Toby

If... If we were gonna try this. What would be the plan?

We give the President and Leo the name. We bring Christopher Mulready in. We bring Lang back in. Hopefully the two of them woo the pants off the President, and he agrees to the deal without noticing he's standing in the gaze of history, pantless.

Toby

He's a featherweight who only looks like a lightweight because he's got you propping him up.

He's the heir apparent.

Toby

Don't say 'heir apparent' when we have men in moon suits hermetically sealing the Oval. This is Russell's only shot... A night like this.

Toby

He's a featherweight who only looks like a lightweight because he's got you propping him up.

He's the heir apparent.

Toby

Don't say 'heir apparent' when we have men in moon suits hermetically sealing the Oval. This is Russell's only shot... A night like this. You're comfortable with that?

Perfectly. Thank you.

Toby

Well, great.

Only shot.

Toby

This and voter fraud, another option.

Yeah, I see.

Toby

Or a mob hit would also work.

Someday there's going to be a newer, younger political operative moving on to your landscape. Somebody up through the ranks from the domestic policy shop, and you'll be able to foist all your jealousy and resentment onto his unsuspecting shoulders and you'll give me a break for three consecutive minutes.

Toby

Jealousy? This is good.

You've had one win in your career, one. And you're looking sunset in the face, and I'm just getting started, and that's eating you apart like some psychological melanoma.

Toby

My jealousy of you?

It's an adrenaline sport and you're exhausted. If you had another fight in you, you'd be grooming Matt Packard or Howard Sturgis and you'd take me down, me and my anemic candidate. But you don't have it. I say this with a great amount of respect. I would be eternally grateful if you would back off.

Toby

What you wrote for Russell tonight was profoundly disturbing.

Because he upstaged the President?

Toby

Because he might win.

What?

Toby

Who was the first person to shake his hand after the speech tonight?

I wasn't watching.

Toby

Of course you were.

Chuck McGill, they golf.

Toby

In a room full of 600 reporters McGill's not a golf buddy, he's Chairman of Ways and Means. You made a calculation; you positioned him brilliantly. It never for a second crossed my mind before, but if you keep this up, he might win.

Thanks.

Toby

It wasn't a compliment. You need to get the hell out of there. You're grooming this clown for a win and then what?

Four more years. A better prescription drug plan, maybe the educational overhaul you guys can't seem to get off the ground.

Toby

With Howdy Doody at the helm?

This isn't a dictatorship. There are hundreds of people running this White House. The salient detail being they're all Democrats. You most of all...

Toby

There are no launch codes at my desk! At the event of what I perceive to be a threat, I can't deploy troops to invade so much as a 7-Eleven. I don't care who you surround this guy with, he's going to wield a tremendous amount of power.

He'll be fine. The Party wants a win. 60 million Democrats want...

Toby

Winning is easy.

You only hit it once, and maybe never again.

Toby

Because you back the guy who should win, not the guy who will win. I backed a man of vision, who's still hanging on to his integrity with his teeth. You're damn straight I won't win again.

There has to be a future, Toby. Someone will take the torch. You will despise the very notion of them whoever they may be.

Toby

Go find someone you can honestly respect. Groom him.

I'll comb the countryside.

Toby

We went to Hokumville, New Hampshire, to find one, yeah. Comb the countryside.

You go. If it's so important, you go. [pause] That's what I thought.

Say you're from Minnesota.

Toby

I'm from Minnesota.

No, we're pretending you're from there.

Toby

We're not actually.

And you'd like prescription drugs from Canada.

Toby

What do I have?

Not important.

Toby

It could be clouding my judgment.

You're no fun anymore.

Toby

I'm having fun.

Toby

[on the phone] Are you kidding? Do you know the term "decent interval"? Go away. [hangs up] Magley from the DNC, wants to talk about who to run for the two vacant House seats.

You're joking.

Toby

They're still picking up pieces of these guys over there, he's talking about DeSantos' poachable district.

What's he calling you for?

Toby

He thought Josh'd be upset about Donna being in the car. I guess he figured since my ex-wife was only almost blown up that I'd be only almost upset.

One reason some people say nothing can happen till these guys are gone is the feeling they both may be stuck in old attitudes or assumptions. There was a time when Palestinians and all Arabs wanted to drive Jews into the sea, but some would argue that time's past.

Listen to some Arab broadcasts.

Rabble-rousing to distract their street.

I'm not sure any credible Arab leader truly expects Israel's demise anymore, not even the Chairman.

Don't be so sure.

Well, there's a view that...

Don't keep saying "Some argue" and "There's a view." Can we restrict it to your view?

Okay. Palestinians are no longer fighting to destroy the Jewish state. They're fighting for a state of their own, a revolutionary struggle against an occupying force, and revolutionaries will outlast and out-die occupiers every time.

I don't know if that's more simplistic or naive.

Toby

It's tribal. It can't be solved. It's Hatfield and McCoy and there is no end.

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