Tino quotes from The Weekenders

Tino

Tish has lost her dignity.

Lor

Look under the sofa cushion. I find all sorts of stuff under there.

Tino

How long have we been here?

Lor

Somewhere between an hour... and a hundred thousand years.

Carver

Interesting. And how did you obtain your data?

Tino

I made it up.

Carver

I see.

Carver

Those geeks...those geeks.. Those geeks are my friends!

Tino

Way to go Carver! Wait, did he just say geeks?

You know, a kite flies on a string, not a stick.

Tino

[pause] Wow, I could see your lips moving, but all I heard was "blah, blah blah".

Lor

It's the crazy, backwards universe.

Tino

Where up is down and boy bands play instruments.

Lor

It's the crazy, backwards universe again.

Tino

Where cats chase dogs and sitcoms are funny.

Tino

Mom, which one of these shirts projects a mysterious, vulnerable, dangerous, lost puppy quality?

Come here. Let me feel your forehead.

Tish

I have here plans for a twelve-foot granite pyramid with twenty thousand miniature workers dragging stone blocks.

Tino

Uh-huh? And I have *here* cardboard, glue, sticks and paint.

Tish

Okay. How about a one-foot pyramid with two miniature workers dragging a sugar cube.

Tino

I know you spent a lot of time on those plans, Tish. I'm sorry you had to compromise your artistic vision.

Tish

And *I'm* sorry you had to sit on a tube of paint.

Tino

Oh great. Looks like I sat on a leprechaun.

Carver

You guys are toast.

Tino

Well you're double toast.

Lor

You're triple toast.

Tish

You're *French* toast.

Tino

*French* toast?

Tish

[sighs] It's been a long day.

Tino

You're going to be combing pudding out of your hair!

Carver

You can't comb dreads!

You know, there's a lesson in this.

Tino

Why did I know there would be?

Sometimes, we think somebody would be perfect if only one thing about them. But when we change that one thing, suddenly they're not that person we knew.

Tino

Yeah, OK.

And before you know it, you're divorced and raising a child all on your own.

Tino

This isn't about Lor anymore, is it?

Lor who?

Tino

So, Carv, imagine the worst thing that can happen if you went back on the radio.

Carver

Well, I go in, totally choke really bad, get suspended from school, get kicked out by my parents, hop a freight train out west, get arrested for being a hobo, and end up in a chain gang with a guy named Lenny who calls me George and keeps talking about the rabbits.

Tino

OK...you're not allowed to use your imagination anymore.

Lor

[cheering] Clown school! Clown school! Clown school!

Tino

Great, my friends will be there to see me get scared and vomit.

Lor

[cheering] Vomit! Vomit! Vomit!

You can't force yourself to mature.

Tino

Can so.

Can not.

Tino

Can so.

Can not.

Tino

Can so.

Can not times infinity.

Tino

Blast.