Tino quotes from The Weekenders

Tish

If I'm a winter, how about this?

Tino

Stand absolutely still.

Carver

What if it hunts by scent?

Tish

Ha, ha. Very funny.

Tino

Aah! It's seen us! Run!

Carver

I am going to be CARP!

Tino

Did you say Carp?

Carver

That stands for what I want to be. Cool And Radically Popular.

Tino

It's a good thing you don't want to be Cool RICH And Popular.

Carver

Why?

Tish

Maybe you're confusing us with your imaginary friends.

Tino

She thinks I have imaginary friends. Ha!

Tino

If a game doesn't have rules, it's not a game is it?

Carver

No, it's politics.

Tino

Want me to leave so you can say bad words?

Yeah, that would be nice...

Tino

Why can't you be one of those nice moms who just say, "That's nice, dear" and leave it at that?

That's nice, dear.

Tino

Well it's a little too late for that now.

That's nice, dear.

Tino

Okay, you can stop that now.

That's nice, dear.

Tino

No talking!

Carver

I can't work under these conditions! I'll be in my trailer!

Tino

That's my closet, Olivier.

Carver

SHE'S WAVING AT ME? Isn't there a law against that?

Tino

[Sarcastically] Yeah, it's enforced by the Federal Bureau of Waving.

It isn't going to bite you.

Tino

That works out nicely, because I don't plan to bite IT.

Carver

Do you have a compass in there?

Tino

Yup!

Carver

Maybe you can use it to find your way back to REALITY!

Tino

They're coming to get me! Mutant clowns from the Hollow Earth! They're real! It's the clown-pocalypse! Aaah!

Carver

I think he's getting better. He's rolling on his own.

Tino

I think your cooking may have military applications.

Watch it...

Tino

I'm just a fat, ugly, loser.

Lor

You're not fat!

[playing ball] Try to keep your eye on the ball this time, it won't bite.

Tino

It's not so much biting I'm worried about as much as bone-shattering impact.

Lor

[Mowing Tino's lawn] Was that a rosebush?

Tino

Not anymore.