Rule number one, think of the worst thing Katherine Pierce has ever done to you. Rule number two, toast to the glory of her impending death. Rule number three, if you come across something that's worse-- which you will-- repeat rules one and two. She pretended to be buried in a tomb for 145 years while I waited for her lying ass. (Damon drinks) Wait. Does that beat pretended to be Elena and kissing me on the front porch of your old house?
I don't think so either, damn. Quarterback, go.
Think on that. Little Gilbert.
She fed me to Silas, and I died.
Then she made me crash my car into a pole and left me for dead. Again.
My sister's dead because of her.
Yes, she is because I wouldn't have even been in town to turn Vicki into a murderous vampire if I wasn't trying to get Katherine out of the tomb she wasn't in. Group shot.
Elena, we were just, uh--
I know what you're doing. (to Jeremy) You're cut off. If anyone is drinking to Katherine's last days, it's gonna be me. She impersonated me repeatedly... Made Aunt Jenna stab herself in the stomach and cut off Uncle John's fingers.
He might have deserved that.
My Grams died trying to close a tomb. She wasn't in.
Tyler's werewolf curse got triggered because of her.
Klaus followed her to Mystic Falls, and because of that, we lost Jenna.
We're gonna need more booze.
She tried to kill me at least twice.
She did kill me, although I'm weirdly better off.
Rumor has it she burnt down the entire city of Atlanta once.
All right. Knock it off or take it somewhere else. You guys are being insensitive.
Come on, Stefan. Don't let the sight of a frail, human, Elena look-alike cloud your memories of the manipulative psycho that she is.
In 1864, Katherine moved into my home, she compelled me to love her, seduced my brother, fed us full of vampire blood, and then started a war with the town that got us killed.
But centuries before that, she was just an innocent girl who was shunned by her family, so for 500 years, she lied and manipulated and did whatever she had to do survive, and she did. She's a survivor, right. So that's the girl that I will drink to today. Cheers.
Please. One night of hot sex with her, and your brainwashed?
Oh, my-- I forgot to tell you. You were kidnapped and hostages and--
That's why you never send a busboy to do a man's job. Nadia, the devil's spawn. Hey, Caroline. Did you remember to tell Elena that?
I think my mind just exploded.
You're not even the least bit curious as to why I'm here?
I literally just whooshed at the sight of your face, so no.
Damon informed me that Katerina Petrova has taken a tragic turn.
So you're here to gloat over her corpse to be, to delight in the closure of 500 years of revenge! Great! Now I'm even less interested.
Guess it's a good thin I'm not claustrophobic anymore.
That's what Katherine helped you with-- Silas aftermath.
Can I just hate her anyway?
But I don't. I know I should, but for some reason, I keep rooting for her to find peace. Katherine's not the only one, you know? Damon keeps pushing you away because he hates himself, who he is, what's he done. Just remember that you never gave up on me, so don't give up on him. Don't let him give up on you either, ok?
So the quarterback has been saved. What now?
Don't you have a dying girl to go punish for all of her sins?
I do, but I won't for you.
So you came all the way to Mystic Falls just to back off when I ask you to?
No. I came all the way to Mystic Falls to gloat over a corpse to be, as you so poetically put it, but I will leave minus the gloating in return for one small thing.
My confession? I didn't do anything. Confession about what?
Me. As soon as we're done here, I'm gonna walk away, and I'm never coming back. You'll never again have to look me in the eye and cover our connection with hostility and revulsion. You'll never have to loathe the darkest parts of yourself that care fore in spite of all I've done. I will be gone, and you will be free. I just... Want you to be honest with me.
I'm in college. I'm building a life for myself. I have plans and a future and things that I want, and none of those things involve you, ok, none of them.
No, you don't because, yes, I cover our connection with hostility because, yes, I hate myself for the truth, so if you promise to walk away like you said an never come back, then, yes, I will be honest with you. I will be honest with you about what I want.
I will walk away, and I'll never come back, I promise.
(steps closer) Good. (kisses Klaus)
You know, I was in a dark place, Damon.
And Katherine pulled you out of it. Irony abounds.
You know, whatever is going on with you and Elena, you need to fix it. She's the best thing that ever happen to you.
You think I don't know that? I can't live without her... But when you think about it, I'm no better than Katherine. Elena will be happier without me. What, I'm being selfless? Don't give me that look.
I'm not giving you a look.
Katherine fricking Pierce has a selfless moment, I'm not allowed to? Fine. Fine. When I get Elena back and the whole universe freaks out because the fated Doppelgängers are torn apart, just remember you-- you're the one that pep talked me out of doing the right thing for the universe and all mankind.
I will keep that in mind.
So this anchor thing, does it mean that you'll, like, be able to feel Katherine's death or whatever?
I think so. I mean, she's human, but she's also a Doppelgänger and Traveler apparently.
So who else do you see over there? Anybody I know?
I see lots of people. My Grams, the other witches. Vicki. I just don't talk about it, you know, I just--
Because it's depressing as hell. Tell Matty I love him.
She's here. She said she loves you.
Tell him that I watch over him and no more knocking around with that blond original chick who almost got him killed.
Wait. Wait. What's happening? What am I missing?
Rebekah says to tell you that I'm her parting gift. Hey, Care.
We've really gone through four bottles of bourbon today?
Can someone really tell these idiots to lay off the booze?
Where the hell have you been? I thought you bailed on us to go find peace or something.
Do you honestly think I'd leave Damon in charge and never look back?
He's talking about me, isn't he?
Ding-dong. Does that mean the witch is dead?
No. Uh-uh. It's too soon. I can't.
(Katherine wakes up gasping in Stefan's room)
Wow, you really don't want to die, do you? I swear I just heard your heat stop.
I thought I was a goner there for a second, but I still have unfinished business.
So do I. I had this whole speech that I was preparing to give your unconscious body.
Let me guess. Hate, loathe, screw you, die, bitch, et cetera.
Yes. Plus one more thing. I forgive you.
I forgive you. You weren't born evil. Your life made you that way. You lost everyone that you cared about way too young, and you didn't have a family that looked after you. Sound familiar?
Is this the... "We're not so different you and I" Doppelgänger speech? Because I'd be happy to skip it.
I'll save it for the funeral that we probably won't have for you.
I just wanted to get the forgiveness part out. It's part of me that I... I never want to lose.
Good for you. Now maybe you can help a girl out and give me one more syringe, and if anyone's gonna plunge a needle in me one last time, may as well be you. Symmetry and all that. Elena... Thank you for your forgiveness.
Jaryakat a zem. Daryeet acza.
Hey, I need a favor. You know how Damon was trying to be all noble and broke up with Elena?
Of course. There was champagne.
Yeah. Well, I kind of convinced him he was an idiot.
And now he's in a bit of a mood, and something tells me that he's been trying to get ahold of Elena, but she hasn't been returning his phone calls.
Look. I would love to help if I thought he was actually good for her, but I don't.
Caroline, how would you like to be judged solely based on who you're attracted too? Come on.
Why? Do you know something?
Why? Should I know something?
I just mean are you sure that this is you really want? You know, Elena and Damon or Damon and Elena, or-- I know that there's a nickname in there somewhere.
Listen. I actually think that Elena is good for Damon. She makes him happy, and we all know that when Damon is happy...
He's not out there killing people, which I guess is a plus for mankind.
But even if I wanted to help, she's not here. I thought that she was with you.
She told me she was staying at Whitmore.
Ok. That's weird. Well, where the hell is she?
You're not gonna hurt me. Elena would--
Elena would what? Hurt me, dump me? Been there, done that, wrote the country song.
Kill you. She would kill you.
Cool. And then me and all her doppelgängers could start a baseball team on the Other Side.
