In what world do the words "tell no one" mean "tell your brother and every teenage sycophant in town"?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Ok. I see shady Stefan's back. Please don't tell me that you're still working with Klaus.
You obviously haven't heard. Elena and I broke up.
Oh. Got it. Uh, well, I'll be quick, then. So apparently if we want to find the cure, we have to find a vampire hunter who can kill enough vampires to reveal the map on the Hunter's Mark. Now, unless we want Jeremy to go all Connor 2.0, I suggest we find a different hunter.
Ok. And?
And I was gonna ask Professor Shane, but it turns out he's shadier than you are. Matt Donovan connected him and the pastor through phone records. Apparently the two were very chatty the day that the pastor blew up the Council.
Ah. So you're gonna confront Shane, threaten him, possibly kill him-- that sort of thing?
Yeah, unless he tells me what he's up to. What do you say? We tag team?
Nah. I'd say you're on your own.
Or we could just blow it off, then-- go get drunk, brother-bond over some TriDelts. If you... you know, want some quality time.
Let's not pretend like this isn't the best day of your life.
I was wondering what time I should pick you up tomorrow.
How about a quarter to never.
I was promised a date in return for one of my hybrids.
Yes. A date, like to a movie, where we don't have to talk and I can put at least three seats between us.
I can't believe that I won. I just want to thank the judges for seeing past the fact that I'm a raging bitch.
You don't want to do that. Those girls will cut you. They have nails.
I have claws.
Life use to be a lot easier. Don't you miss the days of being... "chair of the Mystic Falls beautification committee." And the "Director of the Policemen's Yearly Raffle"?
Is that my Miss Mystic application? Where did you get that?
"When I am chosen, I intend to redefine excellence"... Now I'm really enjoying your use of "when" here. It's very confident.
Mm-hmm.
"And above all, I promise to aspire, inspire and perspire." Obviously, we found a shortage of words ending in "spire."
I must be the least intimidating mass murderer ever.
[Jeremy is sitting on a chair, pushing the white oak stake into the palm of his hand when Elena comes in, causing him to look up at her and pull out the stake from his hand.]
[To Jeremy] Hey, where have you been? [Notices her brother holding the stake] What are you doing with that?
[Jeremy stands up.]
Put it down.
Connor was right. All I can think about is killing vampires.
You're nothing like Connor.
I want to believe that. And I know I don't wanna hurt you, but everything inside of me is telling me to drive this stake through your heart.
Why would you say that? It's me, Jeremy.
And you're a vampire.
Yeah, but I'm also your sister. Jer– [Takes Jeremy's wrist] I would never do anything to hurt you.
[Elena and Jeremy stare at each other, then Elena looks down at her brother's hand, prompting her to turn it over and see the blood on it, causing veins to start crawling towards her eyes.]
[Seeing veins crawling towards his sister's eyes] [Fearfully] No.
[As Elena looks up at Jeremy, the veins go away.]
G-get it away from me.
[Elena turns around, about to leave. Jeremy starts towards his sister, getting ready to stake her. Elena grabs his wrist and throws him down. Horrified, Elena kneels down next to her brother and starts to shake him, trying to wake him up.]
Jer. Jer, hey. Jer, wake up. Jer, please wake up!
[Jeremy opens his eyes and plunges the arm cuff stake into his sister's neck. Elena gasps and clutches her neck. Jeremy stands up, crouches down in front of her, and raises the stake.]
[Enters] [Horrified] [To Jeremy] Jeremy!
Get out of here, Matt.
Jeremy, you don't want to do this, okay? That's your sister. It's that stupid mark on your arm.
[Ferociously and savagely] SHUT UP, MATT!
Jeremy, look at me! I'm human, and I'm telling you not to hurt her.
[Jeremy hesitates for a moment, but looks as if he's still going to stake his sister. Stefan rushes in, grabbing Jeremy and pinning him against the wall.]
[To Matt] Get him out of here, Matt! [Pushes Jeremy towards Matt]
[To Jeremy] Come on, let's get out of here.
[As Matt takes Jeremy away, Stefan kneels down in front of Elena, who is trying to pull out the stake from her neck.]
[To Elena] Let me do it, let me do it, let me do it.
[Stefan pulls out the stake from Elena's neck.]
He's [Jeremy] the only way to fix all of this.
You mean me, the only way to fix me. You don't have to love me like this. This is who I am now. The old Elena died when she went off that bridge. Let her go.
[Jeremy is packing his bag.]
[Enters Jeremy's room] [To Jeremy] What are you doing?
I can't keep living here if I want to kill my sister.
Elena knows that. That's why she moved out and asked me to move in.
[Surprised] What?
Look, I'm not one of them, Jer. I'll keep an eye on you, and we can keep this Hunter business in check.
Where's Elena gonna go?
[Matt doesn't reply, wanting to keep Elena's move into the Salvatore Boarding House a secret.]
I can't stay at home anymore.
Pick a room. I'll crash somewhere else.
My brother wants to kill me.
Welcome to the club.
Jeremy can't live with me, Stefan wants to fix me, and Caroline flat-out admitted that she doesn't like me this way. Clearly I'm not good at this vampire thing.
You know what I think? I think I never see you more alive.
That dance that they did today kind of remind me when...
When we danced together?
I wanted to dance with you. (They dance. After a little while, they kiss each other)
What's that face?
What face? [does his eye thing]
That face.
I'm happy.
The sire bond's not that literal, Stefan.
Really? Name one thing that you've asked her [Elena] to do that you haven't gotten.
You know what I haven't gotten? Blame, guilt. I get it Stefan. I get that you're pissed that Elena dumped you because she has feelings for me. Bet you blame the sire bond for that, too.
Yeah. You know what, I absolutely do.
Why, because it's impossible to think that she could have feelings for me?
No. Because it's impossible for her to be so blind that she doesn't see how wrong you are for her.
He [Stefan] needs balance and restraint.
What makes you think that I'm not balanced and restrained?
The fact that you never have been.
Charlotte. Please tell me you had a full life and you've done something other than counting bricks.
CCharlotte
Of course I have. I'm not crazy.
Then why're you still here?
CCharlotte
You know when someone breaks up with you and there's a song that reminds you of them? First you hate it, but then it brings back all the good memories of them. Counting the bricks is my song and I've been playing it for decades.
That's a really long time. Stop listening to the same song.
Yeah. Well, uh, you know in the plus column, you know New Orleans better than anyone in the world.
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