Alaric Saltzman quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Well, you still need the basics. Toothbrush. Clothes. Some boring books to help you sleep.

Alaric

"Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"?

What? No, I grabbed-- (reads book title and sighs) Damon. He thinks he's hilarious.

Alaric

Well, at least one of us has a sense of humor.

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Alaric

What's Klaus gonna do if he can't find it?

It's the only thing that can kill him, so...wage war, murder people...you know, Klaus stuff.

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Alaric

Is this the part where you give me a dream? Rainbows and rolling green hills?

I was drunk when I told you that.

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Sorry I killed you. Twice.

Alaric

So I have to actually die to get a real apology out of you.

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Alaric

Klaus is going to kill Elena.

What?

Stefan

What are you talking about? Klaus needs Elena's blood to make hybrids. She's the last person that he'd kill.

Alaric

The witch bound my life to Elena's. If she dies, I die. Klaus figured that out, and now he's taken her. Now I'm trapped here until the sun goes down, so you two better get to what you do best-- saving Elena's life.

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They're floating lanterns in the sky. Can you believe that? Japanese lanterns as a symbol of letting go of the past. Well, here's a newsflash: we're not Japanese! You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything ok. Or even singing a prayer, or pretending Elena's not going to end up like the rest of us murderous vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: "Makes them feel better Damon". So what? For how long? A minute? A day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not gonna make up for the fact, the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be. And a rock. With a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So, thanks, friend. You would leave me here to babysit. 'Cause I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl. Remember? I'm just stuck here fighting with my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.

Alaric

(as a ghost) I miss you too, buddy.

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If I can see you... (he pats Alaric's arms and face) ...and I can touch you, that means the little witch did it. She dropped the veil.

Alaric

Well, not completely. It's only down inside the Expression triangle. If I step outside of it, it's back to ghost world.

Well, where is everybody? I figured with the veil down, it'd be like Ghost-a-palooza.

Alaric

Well, not every ghost has a reason to come back to Mystic Falls. Just the ones like me, looking after their idiot best friends.

I'm more worried about the ones looking out for their enemies.

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Alaric

So you get off on terrorizing innocent people?

Connor

And who might you be?

Alaric

I'm the guy responsible for the 18-year-old you just threatened.

Connor

Well, that 18-year-old snapped my neck with her bare hands.

Alaric

I'm also the guy who showed her how to do that.

Connor

Heh heh. That's ironic. You must not know a damn thing about fighting if you're trying to intimidate a dead guy packing C-4.

Alaric

This is my bar, pal. Nobody's gonna blow it up.

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Hi.

Are you feeling better?

Yeah.

So it's all healed up?

Fresh as a daisy.

Good. (slaps him)

[listening from the living room] Ouch.

Alaric

Yeah. I taught her that swing.

Stefan

You know it's not polite to eavesdrop, right?

Hey, I'm short on time here, don't rob me of what little joy I have.

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You know there's something else out there, right? There has to be. Silas' whole agenda was to find peace with his one true love, and whatever peace is, it's out there. I figure once we've served our time for all the bad things we've done, then it's just about letting go and moving on.

Alaric

And how are we supposed to do that when the knuckleheads we care about can't seem to keep their lives straight?

Yeah.

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Alaric

You got the girl, man.

I got the girl.

Alaric

Now don't screw it up.

Well, with you looking over my shoulder, how can I?

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So this anchor thing, does it mean that you'll, like, be able to feel Katherine's death or whatever?

I think so. I mean, she's human, but she's also a Doppelgänger and Traveler apparently.

So who else do you see over there? Anybody I know?

I see lots of people. My Grams, the other witches. Vicki. I just don't talk about it, you know, I just--

Vicki

Because it's depressing as hell. Tell Matty I love him.

What's happening?

She's here. She said she loves you.

Vicki

Tell him that I watch over him and no more knocking around with that blond original chick who almost got him killed.

Wait. Wait. What's happening? What am I missing?

Me.

Caroline

Tyler?

Rebekah says to tell you that I'm her parting gift. Hey, Care.

Caroline

Hi.

Stefan

We've really gone through four bottles of bourbon today?

Alaric

Can someone really tell these idiots to lay off the booze?

Oh, my god.

Alaric?

Ric's here?

Where the hell have you been? I thought you bailed on us to go find peace or something.

Alaric

Do you honestly think I'd leave Damon in charge and never look back?

He's talking about me, isn't he?

Jeremy

He says you're a dick.

Cheers, buddy.

Alaric

Cheers.

Katherine.

Ding-dong. Does that mean the witch is dead?

Katherine

No. Uh-uh. It's too soon. I can't.

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[Tyler is walking through the crowd. Luke is talking with someone when he sees Tyler walking through the crowd, leading him to approach him.]

[To Tyler] Hey, have you seen Elena?

She's not coming. Apparently, she's not in her right mind.

What happened?

[Finishes up his drink and throws away his cup] Is this what you've been up to all summer? Messing with Elena's brain? Does it help with the guilt or are you just desperate for friends?

Where's Elena now?

Why? So you can trick her into thinking Damon's alive? Who does that? She almost killed someone.

[Pushes Tyler back a step] You're drunk.

[Slaps Luke's drink out of his hand] Don't touch me! [Grabs Luke in a choke-hold] Where's your magic now, Parker? What's wrong? You can't chant? You stay away from Elena, or you're gonna have a problem your magic wand can't fix.

Alaric

[Approaches Tyler and Luke] [To Tyler] Hey! Knock it off! [Shoves Tyler away from Luke] Knock it off! You got it under control, huh? Huh?

[Tyler looks at Alaric and Luke, then leaves.]

Alaric

[To Luke] You wanna tell me what that was about? Come on. Let's get out of here.

[Alaric and Luke leave.]

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Alaric

Honestly, Elena...I hate everything about being a vampire.

Me too. At least, you know, I did. Then one day I discovered the good part. You know, the promise that "love could be eternal." And I had that with Damon. Which means that, for the rest of eternity, I'm going to have a hole in my heart where he's supposed to be.

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I know how death works, Ric. Trust me, I've done it. A lot. There's no such thing as "moving on." It's a lie. So if I'm ever going to be able to fall in love again, and make eternity bearable, I need you to do something.

Alaric

What?

You were created with the original vampire spell, which means that you can compel other vampires. And since I can't take away my vampirism...I want you to take away Damon. I want you to compel me to forget that I ever loved him.