Alaric Saltzman quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Alaric

Damon. Thanks for coming.

Damon

Sorry I'm late. The dog ate my, uh...nevermind.

Damon

Did you ask her about uncle John? Are they working together?

Alaric

No.

Damon

No, they're not?

Alaric

No, I didn't ask.

Damon

What about the invention?

Alaric

Didn't ask.

Damon

Does she know about the tomb vampires?

Alaric

I don't know.

Damon

Did words completely escape you?

Alaric

No, I was a little too distracted by my dead vampire wife to ask any questions!

Alaric

She threatened to go on a killing spree.

Damon

Oh. I take it that's...not...okay with you guys?

Damon

We should be in there...

Alaric

No, Isobel made it clear we're not to step a foot inside.

Damon

I'm not going to kill her in a crowded restaurant.

Alaric

You're not going to kill her, period!

Damon

No guilt and shame. I mean, come on - if you could turn it off, wouldn't you?

Alaric

You haven't.

Damon

(scoffs) Course I have, Ric. It's why I'm so fun to be around.

Isobel

What did you expect? You spent all this time trying to track me down. What did you think you would find?

Alaric

The woman who gave me this. (raises his eternity ring) I mean, you act like you don't care - but you cared enough to protect me after you left.

Isobel

I was a different person back then.

Alaric

Right! And that person is "gone". The woman I married, the woman I loved, she's just...she's "gone". (throws the ring at her) You expect me to believe that? (throws his vervain on the floor)

Isobel

What are you doing?

Alaric

Well, I'm ring-free, I'm vervain-free. So either kill me or compel me, because I don't believe it. Not for a second.

Damon

You keep those nifty little vamp weapons in your car?

Alaric

Yeah, why do you ask?

Damon

Because this square is crawling with tomb vampires. I think we might need a stake or two.

Damon

How you doing back there? (Elena pouts silently) You know, this whole 'pretending to hate me' thing is getting a little silly.

Alaric

I don't think she’s pretending. You did kill her brother.

Damon

There is a huge asterisk next to that statement. He came back to life.

Elena

Yeah. Thanks to a ring you didn't know he was wearing.

Damon

How are you so sure I didn't know?

Elena

Did you?

Damon

Yes!

Elena

You’re lying.

Damon

Elena! I saw the ring! It’s a big tacky thing, it’s hard to miss.

Mason

Alaric, catch that game next week?

Alaric

Yeah. Looking forward to it.

Damon

Hey you know, I should probably head out, too. [to Jenna] Jenna, you are a wonderful hostess.

Jenna

And you are a terrible artist.

Damon

Is that the only thing that makes me terrible?

Jenna

Still deciding.

Damon

Good enough for me. [to Alaric] Alaric...let's not catch that game next week.

Alaric

Where is Mason, anyway?

Damon

Decomposing in his truck.

Damon

Where is she?

Alaric

Just let it go, Damon. Don't be stupid.

Damon

What, I'm supposed to let her just get away? I've been "marked"... What the hell kind of wolf...pronoun...crap is that, anyway?

Alaric

Damon, look up. Just look up! (points to the full moon) If this werewolf stuff is true, one bite, and you're dead. One bite, alright? Don't risk it.

Damon

My new girlfriend - Andie Star, Action News.

Alaric

It's not called action news.

Damon

I know. I just like saying it.

Damon

You get anything out of Elijah?

Alaric

No, it was boring. Of course, Jenna thinks he's charming.

Jenna

Goodnight, Ric.

Alaric

Goodnight.

Alaric

It's me, Elena, I swear, okay? He let me go. Klaus let me go.

Damon

Prove it.

Alaric

(looking to Jenna) Okay, uh, first night you and I spent together, Jeremy walked in right when I was about to...

Jenna

(lowers the crossbow) Okay, it's him.