CarolineElena stole my prom dress. I went to pick it up, and the tailor said that somebody else already did. And when I asked who, she said she couldn't remember. Hello? The vervain is out of the town water supply. She was compelled. (Klaus laughs). It is not funny.
Caroline
Then stop laughing. Look, I know that prom isn't important to you, but it's important to me.
Well surely finding another dress is well within your substantial vampire capabilities.
Caroline
But I don't want just another dress. I want to look hot, like Princess Grace of Monaco hot. So, could you please go back into your creepy trophy case of family collectables and dig me out something of royal caliber?
Caroline
I know you said to kill her with kindness, but can't I just kill her?
Caroline
It's from Klaus.
Caroline
Don't ask.
You know you have him wrapped around your little finger, right?
Caroline
If I had Klaus wrapped around my finger, then I would be here with Tyler right now. Are you making any progress with the dress thief?
I don't know. I think it's affecting me a whole lot more than its affecting her.
Caroline
What do you mean?
Every time I tell myself that I'm moving on, there's this part of me that just can't seem to shake her.
Caroline
That's normal, Stefan. You guys were in love. That doesn't go away just because you declare that you're moving on.
Then how does anyone ever seem to move on?
Caroline
I don't know. I think that someday, you'll meet someone new and you'll fall madly in love. And you'll have moved on without even realizing it.
Caroline
I am not going to give up on you.
This annoying, clingy thing that you're doing, did it ever occur to you maybe that's why both of your boyfriends skipped town? I mean, I know that Tyler said he was running for his life. Maybe he was running from you. And Klaus... I mean, let's just say it: nobody likes a tease. Hey, I'm not judging. Might be nice to have a bad boy ruffle those perfect feathers.
Caroline
You're in pain you're lashing out. I get it, but you can't stay this way forever. We're about to graduate and start new lives, and you deserve--
Are you seriously talking about high school graduation? Caroline, do you realize how pathetic you're gonna look in that cap and gown pretending to be human while your mom fake-smiles and just counts down the minutes until you leave town so that you can stop being a reminder their daughter is a repulsive, blood-sucking, control freak monster? It's really too bad Stefan stopped me before I put you out of your misery, but, hey, here's to second chances.
Caroline, hey, snap out of it.
Caroline
(completely tranced) I need to bleed. Silas wants me to bleed.
Stop it, you're hallucinating!
Caroline
(tries to grab broken glass) Just let me do this. I need to do this!
(holding her back) You're going to cut your hands off!
Caroline
A snag? A snag is a bad yearbook picture. You hit a tsunami. Where are you?
Trying to fix it. I'm running into some trouble. I need to wait until the full moon tonight to have enough power to put the veil back up.
Caroline
Are you telling me that we might graduate right smack in the middle of a ghost-filled expression triangle?
Maybe we should just cancel.
Caroline
No! We are not going to cancel. Graduation is the most important event of our lives, the last ceremony of our youth. It is our rite of freaking passage! Hell will freeze over before I let anyone cancel graduation.
Can you not make jokes about hell freezing over? We're not that far off from that already.
Caroline
How'd you get here so fast?
I was already on my way. I received your graduation announcement. It's very subtle. I assume you're expecting cash.
Caroline
That or a mini fridge.
Well I had considered offering you a first-class ticket to join me in New Orleans, but I knew what your answer would be, so I opted for something I knew you would accept. Tyler is now free to return to Mystic Falls.
Caroline
What?
He's your first love. I intend to be your last, however long it takes. [Kisses her cheek] Congratulations, Caroline. Lets get out of here before 12 angry hybrids decide to pick a fight.
OK, Dr. Forbes. Since when do you know so much about amnesia?
Caroline
It's possible I studied up on my chem, biochem, applied microbio, molecular bio, and "Gray's Anatomy" - the real one and the television show.
Caroline
Togavirus causes congenital rubella, whatever that is.
JJesse
OK, hot shot. Red Queen theory.
Caroline
A theory often used to explain a contradictory relationship between predator and prey.
JJesse
And why does the supposedly weaker species always stay one step ahead?
Caroline
Fear of extinction. The rabbit is faster than the fox because the fox is chasing its dinner. The rabbit's running for its life.
Did I mention you're the hottest serial killer in here?
Caroline
Well, considering the crowd, I'll take that as a compliment.
I thought you got Stefan a costume.
Caroline
He's James Dean. I went easy on him. I figured between the blood lust drama, the Damon-Elena drama, the amnesia drama, he's been through enough.
[Whitmore College: Katherine, wearing a towel and holding a box of black hair dye in her hand, enters Elena and Caroline's dorm room. As Katherine walks to a mirror, she tosses aside the box. Katherine approaches the mirror and looks at her reflection. As Katherine looks at her reflection in the mirror, Caroline enters holding a cardboard box, not realizing that Katherine is in her dorm room instead of Elena.]
Caroline
[To Katherine] I don't wanna know if Tyler called, so don't even tell me. [Puts the box on her bed] So do you wanna do small appliances or toiletries?
[As Caroline starts putting her things in the box, Katherine turns to her.]
Caroline
I mean, I'd compel a cute boy to do it for us, but I don't think I wanna see a cute boy ever again. Except for Jesse, who's conveniently not answering his phone.
Caroline
Hello? Dr. Maxfield thinks we're vampires, you know. Threatened to expose us, told us to drop out.
That sucks. [Tosses down the other towel and turns to Caroline]
[Exploding in ferocity and savagery, Caroline vamp-speeds towards Katherine, grabbing her by the throat and pinning her against the wall.]
Caroline
What the hell are you doing in my dorm, Katherine?
I just need a place to crash.
Caroline
What? I loathe you.
I'm desperate, okay? Damon kicked me out, Stefan doesn't remember me, and I just spent my last $20 on a meal that I didn't even get to enjoy.
Caroline
Aw. And how is any of this my problem?
Look at you. Moving out? Giving up? It's very un-Caroline of you. You need me. Bad.
[Caroline lets go of Katherine.]
In exchange for a place to stay, and Elena's meal card, I will help you deal with Dr– Whoever.
Caroline
Dr. Maxfield. He teaches bio.
I'm sorry. What? You're scared of a teacher? Aw, honey, you really need to take a crash course on Villain 101, but luckily for you, I have an honorary doctorate. What do you say, roomy?
You hate junk food. You call it toxic poison.
Yeah? Well, I've decided to live a little. Now may I be excused, scary vampire daughter?
You've been avoiding me, I don't like it.
We had a moment you and i, there was a bond. and then nothing. You abandoned me all over again.
Okay. first of all, i never abandoned you, you were snatched out of my arms at birth because my father thought i was a knocked up shameful slut. and second of all, it's been 500 years, do we really have to do this whole mother-daughter bonding thing? the estrangement is so much easier, don't you think?
Caroline
sorry to Interrupt the world's weirdest lunch, [to Katherine] but you with the Doppelgänger blood, duty calls.
wonderful, now that Katherine is a human and fragile, everyone thinks that they can just boss her around.
Rule number one, think of the worst thing Katherine Pierce has ever done to you. Rule number two, toast to the glory of her impending death. Rule number three, if you come across something that's worse-- which you will-- repeat rules one and two. She pretended to be buried in a tomb for 145 years while I waited for her lying ass. (Damon drinks) Wait. Does that beat pretended to be Elena and kissing me on the front porch of your old house?
I don't think so either, damn. Quarterback, go.
Think on that. Little Gilbert.
She fed me to Silas, and I died.
Then she made me crash my car into a pole and left me for dead. Again.
My sister's dead because of her.
Yes, she is because I wouldn't have even been in town to turn Vicki into a murderous vampire if I wasn't trying to get Katherine out of the tomb she wasn't in. Group shot.
Elena, we were just, uh--
I know what you're doing. (to Jeremy) You're cut off. If anyone is drinking to Katherine's last days, it's gonna be me. She impersonated me repeatedly... Made Aunt Jenna stab herself in the stomach and cut off Uncle John's fingers.
He might have deserved that.
My Grams died trying to close a tomb. She wasn't in.
Caroline
Tyler's werewolf curse got triggered because of her.
Klaus followed her to Mystic Falls, and because of that, we lost Jenna.
We're gonna need more booze.
She tried to kill me at least twice.
Caroline
She did kill me, although I'm weirdly better off.
Rumor has it she burnt down the entire city of Atlanta once.
All right. Knock it off or take it somewhere else. You guys are being insensitive.
Come on, Stefan. Don't let the sight of a frail, human, Elena look-alike cloud your memories of the manipulative psycho that she is.
In 1864, Katherine moved into my home, she compelled me to love her, seduced my brother, fed us full of vampire blood, and then started a war with the town that got us killed.
But centuries before that, she was just an innocent girl who was shunned by her family, so for 500 years, she lied and manipulated and did whatever she had to do survive, and she did. She's a survivor, right. So that's the girl that I will drink to today. Cheers.
Please. One night of hot sex with her, and your brainwashed?
Caroline
Oh, my-- I forgot to tell you. You were kidnapped and hostages and--
That's why you never send a busboy to do a man's job. Nadia, the devil's spawn. Hey, Caroline. Did you remember to tell Elena that?
I think my mind just exploded.
The Vampire Diaries · 1,518 quotes
