(Steve joyfully enters Nicola's office with cups of coffee for her and her team.)
Morning, campers!
Steve Fleming!
(Nicola and Steve shake hands, BUT...)
Oh, no.
Hello. Oh! Okay...
(At Steve's insistence, he gives Nicola a HUG! Fun for Steve...but not so much for Nicola.)
(happily) Hello, Nicola.
Hi.
You look like you've lost some weight.
(surprised) Do I?
Yeah!
I don't think so, but...
(very pleased) Oh, I think so, yes. No, your face looks quite gaunt. Muscly.
Does it now?
Anyway, I come bearing caffeinated gifts.
(Steve presents the cups of coffee, and the team is appreciative of his gesture. Then, Steve gets down to business.)
I'm gonna cut to the chase. I need you to publish...all the crime stats since 2004 as an accompaniment to our Transparent Government launch. From 2004 up to the last quarter.
Okay, we are just about to launch, um, Healthy Choices. With Andy Murray.
Andy Murray! Whoa! (Steve mimes a tennis volley.) Ace!
(to Steve) Good joke.
(to Nicola) We'll make a Minister of you yet.
I mean, after that, we can try and get you something for, say, end of the week?
After? Why after? Why not right alongside? Or, here's a thought...Before.
Because we're under-resourced and it's not a priority.
The PM thinks it is a priority. It can be done. (beat) Oh, I seem to have reached the end of my argument.
Okay. Well, look, um, why don't we say Thursday lunchtime. Okay?
Well, you've got Fran's leaving lunch on Thursday.
I have got a lunch. Thursday afternoon.
(still smiling) Yes, I don't give a fuck about Fran's leaving lunch. I'm saying Now now now now now now now now. Now!
Okay. Chillax. We're on the case, Steve.
Lovely. Thank you very much.
Good. Okay. Well, it's a delight to see you again.
Oh!
Oh, I get another one.
(Another awkward hug between Steve and Nicola.)
(jokingly) Mind my gaunt face.
(to the whole team) Bye-bye.
Bye.
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