(At the start of this episode, Nicola and her team are getting ready to launch DoSAC's Healthy Choices Campaign. The scene starts with a delivery man delivering big bottles of water.)
(to the delivery man, chuckling) Oh, that's great. Don't know why we've ordered so much water. We've all got rabies.
(on her cell phone) So, basically, just get crisps shaped like rockets, rainbow-colored ice cream, you know the stuff that all the other kids have at their parties.
(MORE big bottles of water!)
(surprised) Blimey! More? What are we doing? Opening a dolphinarium?
(off her phone) Good. Sorted. So...Sorry about that. Where were we?
Uh, healthy eating.
Beneficial Lifestyle Choices.
Get in!
What?
(happily) I've just landed Andy Murray.
YAY! That's brilliant! Andy Murray?
I've definitely got Andy Murray!
Andy Murray, the face of Healthy Choices.
Oh, all right.
The tennis player?
(sarcastically) No, the fucking pianist.
Nicola Murray NETS Andy Murray!
Well, we both netted him together.
Are you sure you want him?
Uh, yeah!
Murray? (beat) Doesn't it sound like nepotism?
(Not appreciating Terri's criticism) Like, in the way people think Russ and Diane Abbott are related?
Yeah.
Possibly.
And Bill Murray's her father?
Okay, I'll level with you. I don't like him.
(annoyed) Who would you suggest then, Terri?
Paula Radcliffe.
Pooey Paula? That's not healthy. Shitting in your own pants, that's definitely not a healthy image.
She could demonstrate how to do the Hop, Shit and Jump.
That is very unfair. It only happened once.
Once is all you need! Imagine if Bruce Forsyth, beginning of Strictly Come Dancing... (Ollie pretends to poop) "There we go!" You'd never hear the end of that. And quite rightly!
Terri, can we move on from your hatred of Andy Murray, and can we start trailing a major DoSAC initiative? Now, don't give any details at this stage. Just say it's major TBA.
TBA?
To be announced.
Oh, just...
It's really self-defeating if I have to explain abbreviations to you.
Sure, sure...
FFS.
(to Glenn and Ollie) What's FFS?
Oh, for fuck...
(to Ollie) Oh, we're gonna need Malcolm clearance, Ollie. Okay? (to Glenn) Glenn, can you get rid of all this water as well? It looks like something out of fucking Doctor Who.
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