[Bart and Milhouse start cleaning the organ pipes as Reverend Lovejoy leaves]
You shank! How could you tell on me?!
Well, I didn't want hungry birds pecking my soul forever.
"Soul"?! Come on, Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
But every religion says there's a soul, Bart. Why would they lie? What would they have to gain? [see Lovejoy using the coin counter with collection money]
I don't hear scrubbing!
Well, if your soul's real, where is it? [Milhouse puts his hand on his chest]
It's kinda in here... and when you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying "God bless you" crams it back in. And when you die, it squirms out and flies away!
Uh-huh. What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean?
Oh, it can swim. It's even got wheels, in case you die in the desert and it has to drive to the cemetery.
[groans] How can someone with glasses that thick be so stupid? Listen, you don't have a soul. I don't have a soul. There's no such thing as a soul!
Fine. If you're so sure about that, why don't you sell your soul to me?
[pause] How much ya got?
Five bucks.
..Deal.
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