[Shane is taking a practice lie-detector test to train him for the real one]
MMan
Have you ever been unfaithful to your wife?
No.
[Needle jumps wildly, indicating a lie. Vic looks him in the eyes]
Eatin' ain't cheatin'.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[to Halpern] White smoke comin' out of Antwon's cell, man. Means he's anointing [someone] as his new pope of dope.
Aceveda [to Antwon Mitchell]: Convince Juan to miss his court date.
[about Juan] Someone in county went Mr. Universe on his skull.
[to suspect] Nice job Windtalker. If the Germans had you in World War II we could've stopped that thing before it started.
I like my women tiny.
So your dick fits better?
[Suspect vomits off second-floor balcony onto Billings below]
Billings: Shit--goddammit, this is a new suit!
[about Tina] She’s way too young for you.
I am mature and distinguished. A lot of young women appreciate that.
You really oughta cut back on the porn.
Why is it that the guy with the conscience always gets caught holding the bag? And we don't ever want that guy, do we? We want the guy that put him into motion.
I’ll walk out the front door on my own before I’ll let someone push me out the back!
So we close a triple murder before breakfast, start a race war before dinner. That's a pretty good day.
Still no Lem?
Left a second message. He's probably knee-deep in a booty call.
Hope he's gettin' the cop discount.
Yeah, I hear yours charges by the minute.
Hey, I get mine for free.
Must be seeing a charity worker.
We've both been through enough of these. So I can be straight with you. Yeah?
LLem
Sure
Every guilty suspect that you've ever interviewed started with... Denial. Right?
LLem
So did the innocent ones.
Ah. You must be Doomsday.
DDoomsday
Who are you?
I'm Armageddon. Say hello to the hounds of hell.
Ruff.
I feel like there's some unfinished business between us.
LLem
What's that?
It's this Terry thing. You thought I was hiding something from you. Here's the truth... I swept through that house. I cleared that bathroom. At least I thought I did. Somehow Two-Time got past me. I left Terry exposed... I made a mistake. I never told anybody. I thought it was my fault. That's something I've been living with for a long time now. Finally, I decided to move on. Something you're gonna have to push past too.
[Vic gets up and writes 'We Together?' for Lem to see]
LLem
Yeah.
Okay. [Lem looks Vic in the eye and shakes his hand]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Shield pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.