[Shoving a guy's face into his dead brother's face] Here, you wanna see your brother? Here, kiss your brother.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You want me to fly solo?
Nah, man, looks like this is the only action I'm gonna get today.
Excuse me?
You know the "I lost my husband tragically but I'm still young and hot and in need of an emotional release" kind of sex. Whoo!
You're kidding, right?
What? Oh, you never covered some accident or homicide and gone back a month later for a "statement"? [laughs] This one's been hanging on the vine for a year, man--she is ripe!
CCacuzza
You guys aren't trying to pull one of your pranks, are you?
No no no, I really want to move.
CCacuzza
Right, and a man is just as good as a vibrator. What are you up to?
I learned some interesting things.
So did I. You were a classical dancer when you were a teenager?
Okay, my father is now off-limits to you. Where is he?
How could you not share that?
I only studied nine months.
In Paris!
Here, do your thing with these and stop stalking me.
[reading what Sean wrote on the board] Detective Wagenbach craves respect, fantasizes about being well liked, yet shows no outward manifestation of his low self-esteem. Feels ignored, unappreciated, inadequate with women.
SSean
Ah, it's just off some first impressions, but I'll stand by it.
Maybe you'd like to read my palms too.
[Confronting Shane about an ill-advised sexual tryst he had with a suspect] I was doing a little channel surfing up in observation. I didn't know we got The Spice Network!
[to David about a reporter] This one will cut your hands off and smile sweetly as she asks you to clap louder.
Let me draw you a picture, Sean. This is your aunt’s house. This is the porch. And this, this is the crawlspace Pasadena PD just dug two bodies out of. How many more are we gonna find, Sean? Five? Ten?
SSean
[scoffing] 17.
17?
[watching on TV with the entire force, all in shock] Jesus Christ.
SSean
That's just under the crawl space, you know? The other ones I dumped. I ran out of room under my aunt's house.
It's pathetic.
SSean
What is?
How typical you are. Soon as you're caught, you try to be special.
SSean
I killed 22 people. 23, if you wanna count the hunting accident back in Rockford. Oh, I'm special, all right.
If you're so special, how come a lowly civil servant like me just caught you?
[as Vic arrives with Brian] Some husbands just bring home flowers.
Yeah, I didn't have time to wrap him up.
Looks like you wandered into the wrong prayer group there, Frosty.
Why are you a better deal for me than Rondell?
TTio
I don't use my own product. Rondell does. More and more.
TTio
This whole Nation of Islam thing came on when he was high.
How would you have handled it?
TTio
Let them have the corner, move three blocks over. Dopers follow the dope. Pissing off the beanpie crowd just gives them a reason to live.
Throw a little bit of that peaceful resistance right back at 'em, huh?
TTio
Mmm-hmm. Now, if I'm done filling out the job application, let's talk about how much rent's gonna be.
Actually, fifty grand lets you move in right away.
TTio
Good thing I've been saving. [Shake hands]
It's a good thing.
What'd you get on Gilroy?
Checked out that hideaway in the hills...
And?
LLem
Mistress never checked in to those bungalows.
Another lie. What the hell is he doing?
LLem
Maybe he stashed her someplace else.
Or slashed her someplace else.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
LLem
I always took Gilroy for a quiet drunk.
It's the quiet ones you gotta worry about. [edit]
Come with me.
What's the matter?
Someone leaked the 911 tapes.
Shit!
It's all over the press. We got a situation brewing.
Bad?
When we get there you should do all the talking. Coming from you, a plea for peace will sound more...
Black?
That was some slide. Impact dragged him 75 feet.
Maybe you wanna call Guiness.
Nah. Record's something like over 30 miles. This isn't even a footnote.
GGabo
[about a rooster] Hey, man, where they taking him?
Three little letters... KFC.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Shield pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.