[to Kavanaugh] Why don't you tickle your balls on your own time?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
There are rules.
SSadie
Then break one.
What I do is stop cops from breaking the rules. I can’t stop them if I can’t stop myself.
SSadie
Then try bending one just once.
I’m an Internal Affairs Lieutenant. That’s, that's who I am.
[about Billings] No wonder these guys get away with murder, the Captain's more concerned with the sandwich machine than he is with personnel.
I never authorized the use of a wire.
Well I know how much you love them. Figured I'd try one for a change.
How do I know you even have s--t on these guys?
[Antwon hold’s up Shane’s picture]
Shane Vendrell. I could bury this banjo playing asshole. Bitch likes to talk… the walk, but if you put a boot on his throat, his eyes tear up like a little bitch. And bitches, they give up their buddies. That’s what makes them bitches!
[to Kavanaugh] The price is simple. I help you put away these four fine young men, you make sure you put them away right here.
But I’m hardly in the same category as you and your guys.
Really? You think if Kavanaugh is successful, I’m going to go down quietly? [laughs] I will scorch the earth covering this whole department, starting with you! I can tie you to every bullshit thing that Kavanaugh’s accusing me of, and then some! Your stink will smell in every voting booth in the city! On the other hand… you want that little nameplate on your desk to read “Mayor” someday? We work together!
What did I do to deserve this?
You married the wrong man, Corrine.
[to Dutch] Well, seein’ as you and Claudette’s wonder twin powers aren’t fully activated yet, I’ll do you a favor. Pick up the slack on this one.
And Mackey skates clean? This guy... this guy is just pissing... just pissing all over us, and we just smile and lick it up? Vic Mackey kills cops! He... he deals drugs! He beats suspects! You know what he did yesterday? He... he screwed my ex-wife with the sole purpose of making this investigation seem like a personal vendetta. He may have assassinated a gang leader. And that's just all in one day. I wonder what he's going to do today. I wonder what he's going to do tomorrow. This guy... this guy is just pissing... he's pissing all over us. He's pissing on you. What does it taste like? Chief, what does it taste like, 'cause you know what, it tastes like piss to me!
Seen this guy?
[holds up picture of Vic]
SSadie
Yeah, he came through
Are you OK?
SSadie
Why do you care?
Did he hurt you?
SSadie
You're the only one who ever hurts me, John... That's not gonna happen again.
I just.. Can you just.. Tell me what he did, just tell me what happened. Just, what'd he do?
SSadie
What did he do? Well, he made me cum. That's what he did.
Pretty soon there is gonna be a lonely room filled with empty lockers, huh?
LLem
You and me are the only ones on the way out. I just cut a deal with the D.A.
What deal’s that?
LLem
Why don’t you ask the Chief? It’s sitting on his desk waiting for his signature.
He’ll be out on parole before the blood rushes back to your face.
[to Kavanaugh] Let me remind you of a few things you seem to have forgotten. I didn't kill Terry. You've lost your leverage with Lem. And your ex-wife's pussy...tastes like sweet butter.
[after being named captain] I need your support. I've got my work cut out for me.
You'll do fine. Whoever sits up there has to have an active mistrust of everyone and everything in this place. I can't imagine anyone better suited to the job.
[after killing Lem with a grenade] I'm sorry...I'm sorry, buddy...I'm so sorry, buddy...Lem! Lem, I'm sorry! But I had to, right? But you know I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, man...buddy...oh God...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Shield pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.