Dennis Becker quotes from The Rockford Files

Lianne Sweeny

Jim Rockford, Jim Rockford...Newton Street Division, 1968, Watts Riots!

Jim

No...

Lianne Sweeny

No, don't tell me, don't tell me! Metro!

Dennis Becker

Jim Rockford's a private investigator, Lianne.

Lianne Sweeny

[looking as though she smells something bad] Oh...

Jim

Somebody took a shot at her.

Dennis

Are you sure it wasn't a backfire?

Jim

It was a shot, Dennis.

Dennis

The doorman thinks it was a backfire.

Jim

Oh, and some expert he is since he's heard so many gunshots!

Dennis

He's heard a lot of backfires!

Becker

[reviewing a microfiche] Stay back, please. This is official department memorandum, open only to the department.

Jim

Boy, mention the Nazis around you and it rubs off!

How long does it take to read a police report anyway?

Dennis

Quite a while, if you're Lt. Chapman.

Jim

Oh yes, sometimes he'll read a report twice if it's complicated. Actually tonight his attention span is pretty good.

Peggy Becker

[announcing Dennis' promotion] Has everyone got a glass? Now we are going to have a toast. Okay, are you ready? To my husband Lieutenant Becker.

Dennis Becker

That's right, and Deputy Town called me and said that's it!

Jim

Great! That's really great! Lieutenant! I told you Rocky, I told everybody he was going to do it. A Lieutenant, that's great!

Dennis

There's only one problem: Lieutenant Chapman, from here on out, I gotta call him Doug.

Jim

You said you wanted to see me, Dennis?

Jim

Did you call me in because of him? I'm in the middle of a murder investigation.

Dennis Becker

And I'm right in the middle of my night off. Your friend Mr. Martin here thought you might be able to shed some light on how he happens to be housing eight Shetland ponies in a residential garage.

Angel

Jimmy, they got everybody including the Humane Society on my case. It's a three-car garage, there's plenty of room, I even left a light on.

Jim

I don't have time for this, Angel. Kendall was almost killed tonight, Princess Rachevsky is on her way down here to the station.

Angel

You haven't got time for this? It's because of your princess and you I got into this mess.

Jim

No, no, Angel, you got yourself into it. You always do.

Angel

That's it? That's your statement on my behalf?

Jim

That's it.

Angel

Look, look, Dennis... uh, Lieutenant...

Dennis Becker

This is Robbery/Homicide. Let's move it down to Bunco.

Angel

Bunco? Why, because I'm unfamiliar with your zoning laws?

Dennis Becker

Because besides finding the eight ponies, we found a forged British passport and a letter of recommendation from Queen Elizabeth! Let's go, Duke!

Jim

[on the telephone] Guess where I am now.

Det. Dennis Becker

At the bar?

Jim

Close - they got a lot of bars in here. You wanna try again?

Det. Dennis Becker

In jail?

Jim

Yeah, that's right!