Jim Rockford quotes from The Rockford Files

Jim

You know what's wrong with karate, Jerry? It's based on the ridiculous assumption that the other guy will fight fair.

Jim

I have been sitting here answering questions in my shorts for a reasonable length of time! Now I want my pants and I want to get out of here, alright?

Jim

I have a special this week - Opinions come with no extra charge.

Jim

If you think that's going to stop me, you've got a short memory.

Jim

We're all scared to death. I guess that's the penalty we pay for living in a world where all the price tags end in 99 cents and they sell mortuary plots on billboards next to the freeway. What you do is, you just keep laughing. Stop worrying about it. You're playing a big practical joke, just keep laughing.

Jim

Cataloging my virtues won't work either... I hold them to a minimum so they're easy to keep track of.

Jim

[as he is trying to leave the hospital, but Stoner holds him at gunpoint] The doctor told me to go straight home, go to bed, and no excitement. And I'm just not going to let you qualify as excitement because I don't want to go back in there and get fed through a tube.

Jim

[to Agent Shore] That’s my career specialty – ducking process servers.

Jim

For 10% I don't risk my neck. I just stand around and look tough.

Jim

[to the driver of the Monte Carlo that was chasing him] You know, I've been in this business a long time. I've run into a couple of guys who could stay with me. They got a little sloppy doing it. Nobody ever made it look easy. Just like to say it's an honor to be tailed by somebody who can drive as good as you do.

Jim

Well don't forget you're dealing with a civilian, colonel. You know the nice thing about being a civilian is, you outrank lieutenants and colonels.

Jim

If you feel grief for the man who bounced you on his knee and went out and bought dresses for you and took you out to the park, that's fine, that's great. But why mourn a military record? Leave that to the men who write obituaries.

Jim

Why is it every time there's a car wreck on the other side of the divider, all the cars on your side get out to look at it? Are they expecting to see blood?

Jim

[to Beth] Well you know honey, when you take a chance on someone, you gotta be ready to get hurt. That doesn't mean you should stop taking chances. If you stop, you're really through.

Jim

It's just progress, Mr. Hanson. Marketing and promotion, those are the watchwords of today's progressive businessman, Mr Hanson.