Jim Rockford quotes from The Rockford Files

Jim

On the way back, I want to drop by the Sandstrom house for a minute. Do you mind?

Of course I mind, I don't want to get in trouble with Lt Diehl! If we go there, we're just asking for it!

Jim

Yeah. Yeah well, it'll only take a minute.

Jim

Welllll, lady, I think you're being suckered.

Susan Alexander

Then you don't want the job?

Jim

Ummm, no, I didn't say that. Nawww, I just, uh, like to be upfront then I don't feel so bad about taking your money.

Susan Alexander

You're a private investigator! Why aren't you armed?

Jim

Because I don't want to shoot anybody.

Susan Alexander

[as Jim is loading his gun] I thought you didn't like to shoot people.

Jim

I don't shoot it, I just point it!

Susan Alexander

What are you going to do, Dave?

I'm gonna get a woman, and get drunk!

Jim

I'll drink to that.

Susan Alexander

Well, I guess I can too.

Angel

[enters the squad room, trying to avoid meeting Sgt. Becker] Jimmy, Jimmy, come here. [motions for Rockford to come over to him]

Jim

Angel, where have you been?

Angel

Jimmy, can I talk to you for a second? I know you're mad at me. I know this thing can be explained, I swear.

Jim

Where's my car?

Angel

Your car? It's fine. There's no need to report it stolen, Jimmy. I filled it up with gas, I even got it washed.

Angel

Hi Captain!

Dennis Becker

You've got jailbird written all over you. Where'd you do time, sport?

Angel

Time? Time... [he reaches into his pocket for his watch] It's five o'clock. [He reaches for Rockford] C'mon let's go.

Angel

San Quentin. Four years, but I got out in three for good behavior. I even sang in the choir, didn't I, Jimmy?

Dennis Becker

Who's this guy?

Jim

Oh, uh, Angel Martin, Dennis Becker.

Dennis Becker

Angel Martin... you're in the known associate's file.

Angel

Right, right, probably with Jimmy, we were both in at San Quentin, together. [laughing] I guess you could say we both owned a 'piece of the rock.'

Jim

[after Angel has been grilled by Becker] Angel, where is my car?

Angel

It's in the L.A. area.

Jim

Angel!

Angel

Listen, Jimmy. You was about to make a giant mistake in there. You were going to tell that flat-foot to go looking for your car, and I couldn't let you do that. For your own good, I couldn't.

Jim

Why?

Angel

[Angel looks nervously around] Because there's $30,000 cash hidden in the left front door panel.

Jim

[At a momentary loss for words] Where'd it come from?

Angel

I put it there. Listen, Jimmy, I can't tell you how bad this police station's affecting me. I'm getting a bad case of the Fifth Amendment. Now let's get out of here and I'll tell it so much better. A whole lot better!

Jim

Now, look; if I go through with this, you gotta do everything I say, and I mean everything - no weaseling, no arguments, no nothin - everything.

Angel

[Meekly] That's a promise

Jim

First time you balk, I am through.

Angel

Anything you want me to do, you just tell me.

Jim

Can we get into the paper, late at night?

Angel

Yup, yup. It's not a problem.

Jim

Well, then, it might work.

Angel

[Smiling] You got a plan?

Jim

[nods] Mmm, maybe.

Angel

What'd I do? You just tell me. You name it!

Jim

Well, to make the plan work... [pause] you gotta die.

Angel

[grabs Jim's arm, and looks terrified] I'm, I'm not balkin'. I'm not balkin', I... just give me a... minute to... get... used to it.

Jim

Hey, Angel, what about my car? I want my car!

Angel

We're gonna find it any day now, Jimmy!

I stop to help you out, and all I get for it is complaints.

Jim

And fifty bucks.

Yeah, well...

Gee, what are you supposed to be?

Jim

[smiling] Well, I'm the messenger who's been sent back here to ask very politely what you're doing following that young lady around?

Un huh. Well you're the guy who's going to be checking into County General in about twenty minutes with a busted jaw and a couple of cracked ribs.

Jim

No kidding. You're going to do that all by yourself?

Yeah, that's right Groucho. All by myself.

Jim

Look, I'm trying to be nice. Why do we have to speak to each other in such violent terms, huh?

Jim

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I guess I should have said one, two, three go, huh?

Jim

[the ID says Gary Bettingen, FBI. Rockford smiles sheepishly] Ohhh, look I think I know how we could fix this right now. Why don't I just go and pay my bar bill right now and then fade right out of the picture, huh? You want to say anything to Miss Perris, you just go right ahead.

Why don't you do that.

Jim

[stands up, still smiling] I will and hey... [offers his hand] if you ever have the chance why don't you just drop around and we'll have a drink. I'd like to make it up to you...

Jim

No, no, I'm serious! I'm serious! That was a sucker punch. Hey, you'd been ready, you'd probably knocked me silly!

Hey! What's going on here?

Jim

Here. [throws money on to the bar and taking Angie, quickly leaves the bar room]

Jim

Well, I said he had a federal ID. I didn't say he was a fed. He wasn't.

How do you know?

Jim

Ah, because the picture on his ID was taken against a blue field like your driver's license. Feds have theirs taken against a yellow field. What he did was cut the picture out of his driver's license and paste it into a federal ID, and then encase it in plastic. Nice job, but it was a phony.

How can you be so sure?

Jim

Oh, because that's what I did.

Jim

[sitting at an outdoor table eating an omelet. Agents Shore and Slater walk up to his table] Who's he?

This is Agent Slater

Jim

Oh, I guess I should have said "come alone" but it always sounds so melodramatic.

We live in the melodrama capital of the world. Otherwise guys like you wouldn't be able to make a living.

Your order please.

Jim

Call the police.

Your order, please!

Jim

That's it. You got it. There's a guy following me in a white 1974 Datsun, California plates. Tell the police I'll be headed south on Perdugo and for them to intercept.

Are you nuts, mister? Is this a joke?

Jim

Just tell them he took a shot at me... and while you're at it could you throw in a taco and a bag of fries?

That's illegal!

Jim

So is what we're about to do.