"Aspirational"? Is that even a word?
S1 E17The Rivals
You think you can mess up so bad, we'll give up on you? You can't.
Hey. How are you? I'm Sandy.
DDanny
Why don't you take a shower?
Pardon me?
DDanny
Just kidding, I like you dirty.
She said that about me? That she thinks I'm the funniest guy ever?
DDanny
Yes. You and some dude named Captain Oats. Who the hell is Captain Oats?
I know Jon Stewart's no Leno, but, you know...
S1 E18The Truth
As the Newport Group's new Design Director, I've decided to give the office a much-needed facelift. Now wait till you see your furniture, Kiki. It's very fresh, very Danish, very "hello"!
Hey, you guys wanna join us? We're celebrating my new position.
Ohhh, I'm not gonna touch that one.
OOliver
She's not talking to Ryan right now.
Is she still talking to me, or are you doing all of her talking from now on?
Hello, ladies!... Seth...
Dad, don't call me a lady.
It's a good story, Ryan. It's the story of two young men who could not be more different, but eventually they learn to overcome their differences and team up, kind of like brothers. Not entirely unlike you and me. Except that I blew it.
S1 E19The Heartbreak
I can't go to the Valentines Singles Dance Gala Dance Singles thingy....
No. I forbid it.
You what?
With whatever wifely authority I have vested in me on this most holy and romantic of days, no.
It's only a holiday. It's not even a real holiday.
Not this again. Not on an empty stomach.
How about Arbor Day? Trees? That's a good cause. Or Secretary's Day? Or how about our anniversary?
Which we might not make it to.
You're going. Sandy, this is important to me.
You know, there are a lot of things that are important to me that you don't do.
Like what?
Like golfing. Lots of couples golf together.
Shortly before dying of old age.
Surfing. How many times have I tried to get you in the ocean?
With the fish? Uh!
And still I'm patient. I'm forgiving.
You're joking?
I patiently put up with your father.
You're eligible for sainthood any day now.
I'm busy. Studying. Naked.
[outside the door] Is that supposed to keep me away?
Cohen? You're at my house!
And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.
Okay, listen. Summer, it's not like now that me and Anna broke up I'm now choosing you. Okay? Because the whole reason that we broke up is because for me it's always been you, Summer. It's always been you. I've tried to fight it and I've tried to deny it. And I can't do it. I can't. You're undeniable.
Just need to talk to you. Girl stuff.
Well, you've come to the master. [Kirsten snickers] Hey, I got you.
I was young, impressionable and drunk.
Only child... Right here.
The other night, when we... had sex... you weren't the only virgin in the room.
There was someone else in the room? Like, filming us?
Me, jackass.
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