He got knocked down. We didn't get taller.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
JJudge
[Don asks to be excused from jury duty] All of these people have someplace else to be, I'm sure your network can do the news without you.
You're probably right but I'd hate my boss to find that out.
JJudge
Take your seat.
Uh-huh. [turns to one lawyer] Look, you don't want leaders on the jury, right? Anyone who can take charge during deliberations? I run a news broadcast five nights a week with a staff of sixty and I bend them to my will. [turns to other lawyer] Plus, I'm currently a defendant in two lawsuits being brought by the same person so, even though I bought your clients bagel-slicer at three a.m. and it nearly took my fingers off, there is simply no way in hell that I am finding for the plaintiff-
JJudge
Get out of here!
Thank you!
You know who did great this week? The police. The FBI. The DOJ. Homeland Security. In less than 100 hours, they found two needles in a haystack the size of the world. You know who sucked? Everybody else. Two times in 24 hours, law enforcement officials 00:19 had to publically disclose information before they wanted to because either a paper or website put someone's life in danger. So I'm not so easily surrendering to citizen journalists or citizen detectives.
I was gonna get the buffet.
I don't know why, if given a choice, anyone wouldn't get the buffet. Under what circumstance would you order off the menu?
If the menu had a five pound lobster and the buffet was soy themed, all you can eat assorted soy.
Here's what I need you to do...
Why does there have to be an assignment?
Hey, are we in this buffet thing together?
Yeah, we tell the waiter we're getting the buffet.
I did a Q&A in Shape about my healthy diet.
You lied.
In a big way. And I'm really hungry so I need you to get food for me and I'll get food for you.
Got it.
Crab claws, as far as the eye can see. Mushroom, Swiss cheese omelet. And I can't emphasize this enough, waffles.
Would you consider us a couple?
I don't understand the question...
Yeah you do cause this is exactly how I act in the same situation. Suddenly I pretend I'm stupid and hearing impaired. Do you consider us a couple?
Do you consider us a couple?
I do that too, Socrates.
We are...
Yup?
Okay, let me say...
Go ahead.
Here's what we are...
Bring it.
I love spending time with you.
H-ho, oh man...
Wait.
I can't believe I'm being Don Keefered.
You're not! I would never Don Keefer you.
How often are you sleeping when I'm talking to you at night?
I really have no way of knowing that.
Don't you know that anything that can be proven by courage and character you've proven to me a long time ago?
[As Jim and Maggie's flight to Cuba, which Edward Snowden failed to board, prepares to leave, and they discover his empty seat is opposite theirs]
JJim
We had seats across the aisle from him. The honeymooners had two seats across the aisle from Edward Snowden. Boris and Natasha had the golden tickets. We'd have had him the whole flight, except for one thing -
[concurrently with him] He's not on the plane.
JJim
You know where he is?
Probably back in the airport.
JJim
Yeah. So we are flying 600 miles an hour away from the story... FUCK!!!
[after a short pause] Why didn't you call her?
JJim
What?
Why didn't you call Hallie?
JJim
You're a noodge, Maggie. You know that?
I'm just asking. If you really like her, it's a stupid thing to -
JJim
[cutting her off] I like you... And I don't know why you don't know that.
[after a moment of shocked silence] Beca- Because if you wanted to be with me, you'd be with me.
JJim
That's just... not at all true. You were with Don when I met you.
[angry] You never called me from New Hampshire.
JJim
Yes I did.
No you didn't. Ever! And you knew I'd split up with Don, and you knew why - you went through Lisa, you went through Hallie, and you never called me from New Hampshire, so it's really not as obvious as you think it is, and it's also probably not true.
JJim
You may be right... It's not, but it had... Potential. But the last thing was unambiguously wrong.
What language are you using?
JJim
I do like you. I like you, and I'm glad I said it. Even though... now I wish I'd... said it at the end of a 13-hour flight.
Yeah, this is going to be uncomfortable. [goes to unbuckle her seat belt] I'm gonna switch seats with someone.
JJim
I'll switch seats. I'll sit in Snowden's seat.
That's not far enough. It's gonna be weird if we can see each other.
JJim
Okay.
[He gets up, picks up his bag and moves a few rows back, where he asks someone to switch seats, leaving Maggie looking visibly shaken by their argument]
[Jim is watching Star Trek on his iPad, when Maggie's fingers appear and tap the screen, getting his attention]
Follow me. [seeing he hasn't heard, she pushes his headphones back] Follow me.
JJim
Where are we going?
Exactly where you think we're going.
[He gets up and follows her]
JJim
I don't know what... I'm confused.
[As they shuffle down the aisle, the plane jerks, and a flight attendant approaches]
FAFlight attendant
We're running into turbulence. You have to go to your seats and put your seat belts on.
[as she squeezes past the attendant] This is awkward.
JJim
I was sitting far away from you. I was watching episode four.
[to the man that Jim switched seats with] Excuse me, would you mind trading back?
MMan
We are in the middle of turbulence.
It's nothing. It's due to the action of molecular viscosity called laminar flow.
MMan
[tiredly] Okay.
[He gets up and leaves]
JJim
Where did that come from?
Sit down. Put on your seat belt.
[They sit down and put on their seat belts. Without another word, Maggie kisses Jim]
CSCharlie's Grandson
That's right, you play guitar on the side.
I'm a news anchor on the side.
You were a man, Charlie. You were a great big man.
You have a PR problem because you have an actual problem.
[On Charlie] His religion was decency. He spent a lifetime fighting its enemies.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Newsroom pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.