BBrad
Ms. Lansing, I think the best analogy I can use is Rocky II.
[Incredulously] Are you sure the best analogy you can use is Rocky II?
BBrad
Ms. Lansing, Rocky was a lefty-
BBrad
Rocky was left-handed and for his re-match with Apollo Creed, Burgess Meredith had him train as a righty. Rocky goes round after round with Apollo Creed as a righty until Burgess Meredith shouts 'Now' and Rocky swings with his left.
[Frustrated, confused] What the fuck are you talking about?
BBrad
Ms. Lansing, all I'm saying is that Mackenzie MacHale shouted 'Now' and Will started swinging away.
[Laughingly] Reese! Please, leave Mac out of this, I'm Burgess Meredith I shouted 'Now' [drunkenly slurs an imitation of 'Mickey' from Rocky II] This guy, he don't just wanna beat-cha, he wants to murder ya! [Normal tone] That was my best Burgess Meredith impression.
[Angrily] Is there something funny about all this?
Yeah! We've been talking about Rocky II!
I was rejecting a pass from her while trying to talk her out of what they call at TMI a 'take-down piece' of one of the desperate housewives of New Jersey.
And the tuxedo's off the rack.
No! I-I-I-- I gently touched her to block her as she was coming in for a kiss. I blocked her. I was the victim of an unwanted sexual advance. But more important, I was fighting the good fight.
Why were you fighting any fight?
I was trying to get her to not write the take-down piece.
I'll tell you why. Because I'm on a mission to civilize.
Progress is slow, but I'm in it for the long haul.
You want Publicity to draft a statement?
What did you call me up here for?
Every second you're not current a thousand people are changing the channel to the guy who is. That's the business you're in. MSNBC, FOX and CNN all say she's dead. Don, tell him. Don!
It's a person. A doctor pronounces her dead, not the news.
HHerb
And we're back in 3...2... ...
[after a few moments] Here's what we know so far:
[Charlie, Mac, and Don all leave the studio, looking satisfied, Reese looks furious]
Mac, get in here with Charlie right now.
Right now! [points to Charlie as he enters] You tell Leona that if she wants me out of this chair, she better bring more than just a couple of guys.
That's exactly what I'll fucking tell her!
I'm not fucking around, Charlie!!!
[entering the room] What the fuck is going on?!
You're a fucking newsman, Don! I ever tell you otherwise, you punch me in the face!!!
[considers this for a moment] Okay, but you're back in 30.
Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was Valentine's Day. And that people in the office gave-
No, Valentine's Day is Monday, not today, and these aren't for you, they're from you.
I am more confused than I was before.
Don planned a beautiful night for us on Monday.
Yes. Don planned a romantic evening for you and me. Me and HIM.
And I don't want it to be ruined by Lisa, who will ruin it if she doesn't have a romantic Valentine's day. Last year her boyfriend forgot it was Valentine's Day and went to a Rangers game with his friends. She got drunk, made us watch "Overboard," and reviewed every bad Valentine's Day she's ever had, which was all of them. Not this year. You're gonna be like St. Valentine himself.
Focus, nerd. Don got us a room at the Four Seasons.
Nope, still him and me. The Four Seasons. The bath fills up in less than 60 seconds. And I don't want Lisa showing up with a copy of "The Notebook" saying, "Where's the minibar?"
Yeah, I can't hang out with Lisa on Valentine's Day. That's making a pretty strong statement.
Don't screw with me on this, James Tiberius Harper.
That's not my middle name. You're thinking of Captain James Tiberius Kirk–
Do not screw me on this, Jim.
We're not in a relationship. She calls me at night after work. We talk for a minute and then she says, "Should I come over?" And what am I supposed to say?
If you're dating someone on February 14th, you take them out on February 14th.
What's February 14th? [Maggie is annoyed] Valentine's Day...
[Nina Howard has obliquely told Will that she will leave him alone if he pays her $50,000 for a silent restaurant investment, i.e. a bribe. He takes out his checkbook and begins writing, with an annoyed look on his face]
NNina
Hey, Will... we're journalists.
[Will stops writing]
I wish you hadn't said that.
Everything would have been cool if you hadn't said that. You just talk too much.
NNina
You have a problem with me calling myself a journalist? Only the elite few who cover stories nobody cares about get to call themselves–
I've got a guy on my staff who got hit in the head with a glass door Thursday. His forehead wouldn't stop bleeding, but he wouldn't go to a doctor 'cause I got another guy who got beat up covering Cairo. And the first guy wouldn't see a doctor until the second guy saw a doctor. I've got a producer who ran into a locked door 'cause he felt responsible for the second guy. I've got an 18-year-old kid risking his life halfway around the world. And the AP who sent him there? Hasn't slept in three days. I've got 20-somethings who care about teachers in Wisconsin. I've got a grown woman who has to subtract with her fingers staying up all night trying to learn economics from a PhD who could be making 20 times the money three miles downtown. They're journalists. [his voice becoming quieter and more menacing] Come after me all you want, Nina. Come after me every day. Look through my garbage. Invent things out of thin air - that's what you're paid for. But you touch my staff, and you are walking into a world of hurt. I have an hour of prime time every night, and I will re-dedicate my life to ruining yours. I also want you to send a message up the chain of whatever back room machinery that's driving this that if I so much as smell Leona Lansing's perfume on any of this, I'm going to make a meal out of both of you, and I'm not going to stop until I'm done. Look at me... [waits for her to do so] ...And see that I'm dead serious. [voids the cheque] Restaurants are bad investments. Wait twenty minutes until you leave here.
[He gets up and puts his coat on].
NNina
Tough-ass speech. But you're not gonna win.
Nah, I don't care. I'm just a middle-aged man who never lived up to his potential. You don't want to be on the wrong end of me if I ever do. I got the drinks. [leaves]
It's just a very bad day.
LLisa
It's Valentine's Day. It's my favorite day.
Then pick another day! Because it's every guy's least favorite day. Everyone's always disappointed. Valentine's Day is the bully of holidays. It forces love on people who aren't in love. Cupid's freakish.
No, I'm boycotting Valentine's Day from now on. Who's with me?!
[holding flowers for Maggie hands them to a random guy] I love you every day. Today's just an excuse to spend a night in a hotel room.
