PPolice Officer
[On the phone with a stranded Fran] Honey, it's a beautiful story. My heart goes out to you but I got one tow truck and a wedding is not an emergency... You're how old?... I'll send a chopper.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
What do you mean: "The wedding is over"?
Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce.
What's that got to do with us?
Their marriage didn't work because they're from two different worlds just like us. I mean you're the sophisticated classy Jocelyn, and I'm Lester, the poor schlub who worked for you.
Oh, come on darling, you never really worked.
Ms. Babcock. [Offers her a drink]
Thank you, Niles, but, you know, I'm not supposed to [Gulps it down] do that.
How many times have you not done that tonight?
CCC.C.
About eight. Niles, now that Maxwell's taken, my life is over.
Ms. Babcock, you always underestimate yourself. You have a lot to offer a man. You're witty, you're sophisticated, you're beautiful, you're sexy...
CCC.C.
How many times have you done that tonight?
About twelve.
You blew into our lives five years ago like a whirlwind; made us all feel alive again. For that alone, I'll love you forever.
Fran Oh I can't believe I'm kissing a married man.
Mr. Sheffield How'd you like to join one in the bedroom?.
[With a hangover] I had so much to drink at the reception. I had the strangest nightmare that Santa Claus was trying to have his way with me.
[C.C. enters with a hangover dressed in red]
CCC.C. & Niles
Oh my God.
We didn't, did we?
I'm not sure. Say "Ho ho ho".
CCC.C.
No one can ever know that this might possibly have happened.
Well, it ain't going on my resume.
Mr. Sheffield Oh My darling I've waited so long for this moment
Fran Oh you've waited so long, Oh Oh Maxwell
Mr. Sheffield Oh my god
Fran Ohhhh
Mr. Sheffield Ow something bit me
Fran Sorry, now order me around some more.
Mr. Sheffield No sweetheart I'm serious something just bit me
Fran Sweetie I'm lying on a starfish and I'm not complaining, it's nothing sweetie don't panic it's just a little bite.
Mr. Sheffield Darling half my body's going num
Fran Witch half?
Mr. Sheffield The lower half
Fran Noooo
Mr. Sheffield Sweetheart sweetheart I'm dying
fran Oh I'm going, Honey how will i know where the bite is, oh it's ok it's not so bad.
Mr. Sheffield Remember sweetheart don't swallow it could kill you
You mean my mother was right?!
Fran Oh Max i was so scared i was going to lose you.
Mr. Sheffield No your never going to lose me I love you so much.
I'm gonna call Morty and tell him to bring my nightgown. I'm sleeping over.
Is that really necessary?
Well, I could sleep in the nude. But there's the boy.
Mr. Sheffield Darling please you've kept me waiting for 45 whole minutes, this is torture
No sweetie torture is 5 years
Fran Let me just take it off, I kept the box I'll return it tomarrow
Mr. Sheffield Darling Wait Wait you don't have to do that anymore your a wealthy woman now.
Do you think I'm uptight?
Nope!
I won't fire you.
Yup!
Your voice carries.
All the way to your bedroom?
To Michigan.
Mr. Sheffield I'm his father i know what's best for him
Fran And what am i?
Mr. Sheffield Your the Nanny
Fran (Fran gasp) You called me the N word, did you hear that niles?
niles Do you get the house in the settlement?
Fran Yea
Niles Every word
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Nanny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.