The Muppet Show quotes

- Frankly, I'd call it "Quits".

- (in unison) Quits! Quits!

(talking to characters from Sesame Street)

- How should we know how to get to Sesame Street?

- We don't even know how to get out of this stupid theater box!

- Do you think this show is educational?

- Yes. It'll drive people to read books.

- Pay up. They made it through another one.

- Double or nothing for next week's show?

- You're on.

- (Statler is scratching his body)

- I wonder why I'm so itchy.

- Maybe the show's starting to get under your skin!

- You know, they can improve the whole show if they just changed the ending.

- How?

- With the ending closer to the beginning!

- I thought for once the show really caught fire.

- I thought it burned itself out, same as always!

- Finally, we've seen them do a good show.

- Good. Can we please stop coming now?

- I can't believe those rats were responsible for this show.

- Why not? They were also responsible for the Bubonic Plague!

- South Dakota!

- South Dakota has nothing to do with this show.

- That's what I want. Nothing to do with this show!

(It is snowing in the theater. Statler and Waldorf are shiviering)

- We'll get pneumonia!

- Big deal. This show always makes us sick!

- Well, you know, Waldorf, I gotta admit, I've never seen anything like that before.

- Yeah, and with any luck, I'll never see anything like that again!

- You know, this is my favorite part of the show.

- What, the celebration?

- No, the end!

(Cast)

It's time to play the music

It's time to light the lights

It's time to meet the Muppets

On the Muppet Show tonight

It's time to put on makeup

It's time to dress up right

It's time to raise the curtain

On the Muppet Show tonight